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Belle walks past me to Mav’s side, hugging him.
“What are you talking about? Ezra wasn’t gay. Are you gay? I’ve never seen you with a man.” I wanted to call him a liar. My brother would have told me if he loved someone. He would have told me if he was gay. But at the moment, I realize that’s not true. I’ve spent years assuming he loved Belle without telling me. Why would this be any different?
“Ezra is the love of my life, Kai. Being with another man feels like a betrayal,” Maverick tells me. The love of his life? My brother was that in love and never said a word.
Belle looks up at Maverick and nods. He swallows before speaking. “The night he went missing, we were going to tell everyone about us. Then I got a text…” he pauses and shakes his head, tears flying from his face. “I had to leave. I had to leave, and I never got to be with him in the open. Love him out loud. We were robbed of that.”
“Why did you leave that night?” Belle whispers to him. I’m close enough that I hear the question too. I look at Mav and he somehow looks even more miserable.
“My mom texted me. My dad was drunk, and he was —” he pauses and looks at Belle. “He was beating her. She texted me to save her from him.”
“Maverick,” Belle says before hugging him tightly.
Willa comes up from Mav’s other side and hugs him too.I didn’t even register she was here. I look around and notice Cal is standing next to me, his jaw hanging open.
“It’s not your fault. You did the right thing,” Willa assures him.
“No, I didn’t. I always ran to save her. I’ve even offered to buy her a house away from him. But she won’t leave. She stays with that piece of shit.” A heart wrenching sob breaks free from his throat. “If I just stayed with Ezra, he would still be here. It’s my fault he’s gone.”
I un-stick my shoes from where they seemed to be glued to the pavement and make my way over to Mav.
“It’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. You were in an impossible position.” I grab him, pulling him out of the girls’ embrace and into mine.
“I don’t know why Ezra felt he had to keep who he was and who he loved a secret from me, but I don’t blame you for anything. Thank you for loving my brother.”
I hold him until the sobs cease. Then I watch as he enters one of the SUVs, shoulders slumped, head down.
“You knew this whole time?” Cal asks Belle. There’s hurt lacing his words. Cal and Belle have always told each other everything.
“Ezra asked me not to tell. Then when he went missing. He wanted to be the one to tell everyone, and I’ve been hoping that he still would.”
Cal nods. “Come on, Willa.” They walk away, leaving Belle and me in the parking lot alone.
“Belle, I’m so fucking sorry.”
“I don’t want to hear it, Kai.”
“Please, just listen,” I beg, getting as close to her as Idare. I wouldn’t blame her if she kicked me in the nuts right now.
“Listen to what? You hated me because you thought Ezra was in love with me. Now you know he’s not, so you’re going to be nice? It doesn’t make any fucking sense, and I’m too emotional to deal with your bullshit.” She tries to walk away, but I grab her.
“You don’t understand!” I yell, causing her to pause, eyes wide. “From the moment your eyes found mine when we were kids, I have loved you. I love you, Bellamy. I tried to stop. Tried to forget you. Tried to accept that you were Ezra’s. But I couldn’t. I can’t. I love you.”
Belle’s eyes go impossibly wide, and her jaw hangs open in shock. “I was never Ezra’s,” she whispers.
“I know that now.”
I watch her eyes fly back and forth as she looks off into the distance. She’s trying to process everything I just said and I’m letting her, but all I want to do is kiss her. If she even lets me kiss her.
“I can’t do this, Kai,” she says, tears in her eyes as she pulls away from me.
“Belle, please. Just think about it. I can wait. Take as long as you need,” I beg. I’m begging for something I didn’t know I could have until seconds ago, and it’s already slipping through my fingers.
“You hurt me worse than anyone else ever has. Brad hurt me physically, but you… Kai, you destroyed me.” Her words are like a shot directly to my heart. “I just. . . can’t.”
I drop to my knees in front of her. “Please, mo chridhe. I know I fucked up. I’ll do anything to fix it. Don’t give up on me. Please, Belle.” She continues to back away from me as I beg for her to stay.
She runs up to the first SUV. The back door opens, and she climbs in. They take off immediately after. I watch her go from my knees. The pain I felt when I thought I lost her five years ago is nothing compared to what I’m feeling right now.
