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God, I fucking love this woman.
“If you make that noise one more time, I’m going to bend you over the arm of this couch.”
Belle looks at me with one eyebrow raised, like she’s considering it. We’re sitting snuggled up together on thecouch, eating our dinner. She’s been moaning with every bite.
“We can come back to that later. I’m too full right now.”
I just laugh and shake my head. Moments like these make me so happy that in the back of my mind, I think I must be dreaming. She can’t be here on my couch, eating my food, and looking at me like she loves me more than anything.
But she is.
And she’s smiling, but a tear is streaking down her cheek.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, alarmed at the conflicting emotions on her face.
“You’re back.MyKai. Not the grumpy jackass that’s invaded your body for the past five years.” Her eyes are shining as she speaks, and the smile is still on her face, but her words make me feel like the world’s biggest asshole.
I pull her into my arms and kiss her with a ferocity that I hope conveys how much I regret every moment I treated her poorly.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Belle. You have to know I hate how I treated you all those years,” I practically plead.
“Kai. I know. Stop apologizing. You acted like an ass, and I ran. Neither of us handled losing Ezra, and it cost us each other,” she says quietly, the smile slipping from her face. “But we’re together now.”
For-fucking-everis what I want to say. I know it’s true in the deepest, darkest parts of my soul. This woman is it for me. She is my other half and my only love. I’ll marry her one day.
I keep all that to myself because it’s still new, and thisconversation is too heavy already.
“What do you think about me hiring a private investigator to look into Ezra?” she blurts.
So much for lightening up the conversation.
My mood instantly plummets, and I can feel the muscles in my body locking down.
“I don’t want to have this conversation right now,” I say as evenly as I can manage.
“But Kai, he’s still out there somewhere and —”
“I said no!” I scream, getting up from the couch and pacing in front of her. I run my hands through my hair and tug, trying to calm the anger that’s surging inside of me.
I take one look at Belle and seeing the tears in her eyes and the shock on her face feels like a knife to the gut.
“Belle. . . I just. I can’t,” I try to explain but the pain that surfaces when my brother is mentioned, the pain I can usually force down, is forcing its way to the surface.
“He’s out there somewhere, Kai! What do you mean you can’t? We’re not giving up on him!” her tears are replaced with a look of determination and fury. How do I explain to her he’s not out there? And if he is, he doesn’t want to be found. The look on her face tells me she won’t listen to anything I say right now.
“How about we watch a movie and talk about the new album?” It’s taking every ounce of self-control I posses to keep my anger in check right now.
“How about we talk about the fact that you’re abandoning Ezra?” She counters in a loud voice that penetrates my already thin control.
“Fuck you for saying that to me! He’s my brother! My twin! Don’t you think I looked for him? Don’t you think Iwant him back?” I watch her reel back at my harsh words and even harsher tone. I do my best to calm my voice before speaking again. “I can’t go down that road again. It almost killed me.”
Belle’s wide eyes don’t soften in the way I’m used to. They harden as she spins on her heels and takes off running to my bedroom.
“Where are you going?” I call out after her, but she just ignores me. I follow her and find her putting her clothes on. “Belle —”
“Don’t,” she says with a hardness and finality that throws me off. “Cal is going to pick me up.”
“Please. Stay. We can talk about something else. Get back to our date,” I plead with her.
