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“Like, they’re addicted? To what? Gettingfedupon?”
Lozen nodded.
“Sure,” she said, “why not?”
Saber nodded and looked out the window. The moon was plump, almost full. She thought of Ansel, wondered if she would see him the next night, at the Christmas party.
“I can see that,” she said. “Apparently it feels really good.”
She thought of Ansel with a sharp longing. Was it a normal crush? A teenage obsession? Or was there something supernatural going on when she thought of Ansel and the way she craved his attention.
They talked for a while longer, Saber feeling tired and dreamy, Lozen contemplative, drinking the red wine slowly. She looked out at the moon again, and saw it shimmer and glow, so very white above the black silhouette of the fir trees. She knew it would be full tomorrow night.
25
The Christmas party for Glacier was being held at the Four Seasons, a lavish hotel that looked out over the Seattle waterfront. She’d worn her gold dress, red lipstick, and carried a very sharp folding knife in her clutch. When she walked in on her dad’s arm, she couldn’t help but notice how many men turned to look at her.
Her dad noticed too.
“Justhadto go with a gold minidress for my office Christmas party, huh?”
“I think I look great,” Saber said.
He sighed.
“You look lovely. I guess I wasn’t prepared for you to look so… so much like awoman.”
Saber laughed.
“Did you imagine me in, like, a poofy dress in a tartan print and a big red bow?”
“Something like that.”
They walked through the party to the bar, and before they could get there one person after another stopped Saber’s dad to talk to him and introduce themselves to Saber.
“Your dad talks about you a lot,” they all said, or some version of it.
A few men let their eyes flicker over her, barely attempting to conceal their interest. She looked around and didn’t see Ansel anywhere. Why had she thought he would come? Because it was his company? He didn’t seem like the type to care about standing on ceremony and ‘office Christmas party’ wasn’t Ansel’s vibe.
Saber got a coke and her dad got a beer before they found a table to sit at.
“Are you good here for a moment? I need to go talk to someone.”
“Sure,” Saber said, smiling at her dad.
She sipped her drink and turned to look out of the window, out at the dark expanse of the water. Lights from boats flickered. She thought about how the world was so different than it had been only a few months before. She felt, very suddenly, like crying. Knowing it would ruin her makeup, she held back. She finished her coke and stood up, heading to the hors d’oeuvres. If she wasn’t going to see Ansel, she might as well stuff herself.
It was as she was crossing the floor alone when she saw him. He walked in and handed his coat to a server at the same moment he locked eyes with her. As soon as he saw her, she noticed, the light in his eyes flared like a flickering candle. Then he turned back to the server, offered them a bill, and thanked them.
He didn’t look at her again.
Then he seemed to be surrounded by his employees, some of whom, Saber noticed, were very beautiful women, wishing him a happy holiday. He smiled a cool, charming smile and was extremely attentive to anyone who spoke to him. He didn’t have a lot of attachments to humans, she knew, but he faked it incredibly well. She also noticed that he looked lovely in the low,golden light, and realized he must have planned it. In flickering candlelight, he didn’t look so shockingly pale. He almost looked human.
Saber got a plate of crab cakes and tiny puff pastries. Then she passed by the bar and pointed at a glass of wine the bartender was pouring. He was busy, and he poured her one without noticing that she could be underage. She felt strangely thrilled by her little victory and sat back down with her plate and her wine, amused, to look at the boats in the Puget Sound again.
The wine, a sparkling white, made her giddy for a moment.
She looked for her dad. He was standing in a circle of people explaining something to them, moving his hands around as though to illustrate his point. It occurred to her again that she barely had any idea what he did. She knew he was important at Glacier, and she was suddenly emotional, strangely proud of him. The wine was probably making her a little bit silly.
