AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I can make it happen,” I say softly, drawing her to look over her pretty shoulder at me. A small smile plays at the corner of her mouth. “You could couldn’t you?”
“Well, it’s not like I sit on the board like I do several others but I believe my cousin’s wife does and I know how much of a fan of your work Flower is.” Idly stroking her jaw I’m lost in the beautiful brown hues of her eyes.
“We’ll see.” Her face clouds a little bit at the words. “This is the first thing I’ve written since before the pandemic and I’m not sure if it’s any good. I mean, I like it. I’m not one of those writers who never thinks their writing is good enough. But if tonight showed me nothing else it’s that I need to always be looking at fresh new approaches to the work. The way they integrated podcast and social media was so smart. I loved it,” she sighs. “I know there hasn’t been a major work addressing how people struggled and overcame loss during Covid and I want to givevoice to that. Tonight, they showed me what was nagging at me. What is missing.” The passion in her is incandescent. Her eyes are alight with a new passion I haven’t seen up close since the fellowship as Sofia. Her generous smile highlights the deep set of her dimples casting her face with an innocence I long to corrupt.
“And what’s that?” Her excitement bleeds into me like vapor. My curiosity is peaked.
“How much social media and misinformation shaped everything. The whole time we were getting two opposing narratives and it led to so much tragedy. I’d been focusing too much on the economic part of it in the story and though that did shape a lot of the narrative for people who owned Mom-and Pop-businesses like my characters. Social media and conflicting information also impacted everything.” Throwing her hands up in frustration she flings herself back against the cushions. “I missed the mark.”
I look at her for along moment. I press the intercom. “Pull over,” I tell him. Reaching under the seat’s compartment I get the slip-ons she prefers when she’s not trying to wear those ridiculously high heels she says make her legs look good— okay they do but they aren’t serving any purpose right now.
I slip them on her feet. “Walk with me back to the hotel.”
“Um, okay.” She shrugs. It’s such a pretty night and I want to see her beautiful skin and soft curves against the backdrop of the Sydney skyline. I get out waving the driver away as I open the door for her. Her dress is an Atelier Fe Noel Tulip Fleur Plump dress she fell in love with. The cool night breeze immediately lifts the layer of silk chiffon. She looks like a dancing fairy among the lights. I can’t take my eyes off how beautiful she is. How I ever went without her I can’t fathom. It was a hell I never want to revisit again.
The fierce urgency of right now has me reaching for her small hand. Lacing petite fingers between mine we walk in silence for a while.
“Your talent has always amazed me,” I tell her as we near the hotel. It seems absurd that we’d travel half the world away for a play yet promises kept lead to trust earned. “Now that you know what you need to do, you only have to execute it.”
“I know,” she says, dragging the last word out. Her mouth is cast in a cute little pout.
Pulling her into my arms, I turn her to face the harbor. Resting my head atop hers, I ask, “Tell me, Tay-chan. Can you ever be happy doing anything else? If I gave you the babies you say you want now would that be enough? I doubt it.”
“You’d be right. I’d be miserable. I remember some of my aunts taking jobs that gave them safe careers and were miserable. My father always said his sisters are the backbone of the family. I know they found joy in the family but they missed out following their dreams. I think they push us so hard in the opposite direction because they didn’t have those chances back then with all the gatekeeping.”
I nod because I know my wealth afforded me privileges that many in my own country didn’t have especially people like me with mental illness. I tend not to care about others outside of Taylor and my siblings and in a way I know that has protected me. I am not blind to it though. Far from it. The clarity gained from being imprisoned for three years cannot be ignored. Which is why that particular facility is no more. Reporting them to the state as my brother did and using his considerable influence to have them shuttered. I would not rest until I saw it reduced to ashes and rubble. Not until every motherfucker who abused and raped me were dead by me and Kiyoshi’s hand once he found out the extent of my abuse.
I remember the horror and grief on his face when he found out. Now I wonder if it was guilt. Did Kiyoshi betray me? A pang stabs in my solar plexus at the thought.
My face heats. Burns. I have to step away for a moment. Thoughts start to spiral.
“Hisashi,” her quavering voice reaches me.
Swinging my head toward her, I look trying to get my shit together. I’m disassociating. I try to focus but I can’t. Shaking my head, I try to focus to bring my mind back to the moment. I breathe only to realize I already sound like I’m running a fifty-yard dash.
“Hey.” I hear the litany of denials and recriminations blazing through my skull.
Then a gentle but firm squeeze of her soft delicate hand. A hand I could crush if I wanted to. Sick selfish motherfucker that I am, I let her.
“I got you,” she whispers. “We are almost back to the hotel. Let me help you, Hisashi.” She pauses trying to catch my gaze but I won’t let her. I’m too raw right now.
“Do you want to call you guardian? Will that help?”
“No,” I scoff through gritted teeth and give her one truth at least. “Hewants you. I thinkHe’s in love with you.” It would be laughable if it weren’t so bizarrely pathetic.
“Damn straight,”Hemutters.“But both of you are mine to protect.”
Ignoring him, I let Taylor lead me back to our suite overlooking the harbor and the opera house. She dims the lights when we enter. The room is spacious and sparsely decorated with monochromatic soft tones that give a peaceful like feel the to the space. So vanilla, not either of our style but pleasant enough for a brief stay.
My mind is calm. My monster lies in wait in case I need him. His presence is not oppressive, it’s as if her softness has calmed even him.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” she asks as if I’m a man who talks about things. I want to remind her that men like me — psychopaths, don’t waste a lot of time talking. We act. Yet my little dove is looking at me with such earnestness. She matters, her feelings matter. She always has mattered to me and that is part of the problem. Why do I even countenance her wild assertion and denials about my brother rather than simply snapping her neck? I’d feel something. It would pain me. Just as having to kill my own fucking brother for treachery would.
“I thought of the possibility of having to kill Kiyoshi.” I look at her unwavering then seeing sympathy force myself to look away. She knows better than to try and sway me.
“You won’t do it,” she says. “You may never speak to him again, but you won’t kill your brother.”
I scoff making a sound in my throat.
