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I considered it for a moment. What would it look like while I stammered over my words? I’d probably throw up on some priceless ancient rug made from the magical fibers of some mythological creature that no longer existed. Because that was something he would own. And it was certainly something I would find a way to damage.
What if he was receptive to my feelings, even in the slightest? I thought back to our day at the waterfall. He’d said he was willing to take some risks. What kinds of risks? Maybe it was time to be honest about it. Take a few shots of liquid courage and say it. What was the worst that could happen? I could be rejected by him, and we’d pretty much be back to the act we’d been putting on. I inhaled, steeling my spine, metaphorically anyway. I was still sitting on the wall hunched over with my back looking like a question mark.
“I’ll try,” I murmured. Adora cleared her throat loudly and purposefully, calling out my use of the word try. She hated that. “I’ll talk to him. No guarantees about what words actually end up coming out of my mouth.”
“As long as they’re words and not you throwing up on him,” she snickered.
“No promises.” We both laughed, and my sister blew out a loud breath, and I knew there would be a loose strand of hair falling into her face, flying around as the air hit it. I could imagine exactly how she looked at the moment. A sudden sadness filled me, and I sighed. “I miss you, Adora.”
“I miss you so much, it hurts,” she replied, her voice barely more than a whisper. Abbey’s warning howl sounded in the background on her end, and she cursed. Nova perked up her ears, cocking her head in question.
My moms were a mile out from the house. They always let us know when they were almost home. But the pitch she used meant they were being followed. I had no doubts Mathis had had them trailed, hoping to find something he could use against them. They would find nothing, but the idea of my family being targets made my stomach turn.
“I know that call,” I said calmly, even as worry filled me.
“Not again,” she mumbled. “Mathis has Andreas or Shade follow us everywhere. Like you’re dumb enough to come back here and hide under the staircase.”
“Will you be okay?”
“I’ll be fine. The same as it always goes,” she answered, but I knew what that meant. They’d try to provoke Mom and Abbey into a fight by using Adora as a punching bag. She’d take her hits, and she’d remind our moms to stay back. “Hopefully it’s Shade. He pulls his punches. His son is a dick, though.” For her sake, I hoped it wasn’t his son. Andreas was the worst, and he seemed to enjoy it.
“Go,” I whispered. “Be careful. Don’t give them a reason to stay, okay? Eyes down, mouth shut. I love you. Tell Mom and Abbey too.”
“Love you too.” She’d sped through her words before the absence of sound on the other line filled my ear.
I tried to distract myself, squeezing my eyes to stop the emotions from leaking out. Holding the phone in one hand, I tilted my neck back, facing up to the sky. A fat drop of water landed on my forehead, then several other drops started to land around me as the clouds opened up.
The weather was fitting for the mood I was in.
Nova jumped up, shaking her body before taking off in a run for the tree line. I followed behind her, my pace slower, letting the rain mask the tears that fell down my cheeks.
CHAPTER 20
Elias
She’s already dead.
The words played on repeat in my head. After Jordan’s interrogation, I’d headed straight to our room, only to find it empty, and the bed made. No one knew where Dannika was. She’d been gone for hours, not answering her phone. I couldn’t take it. After the threats that had been made, I needed to know she was safe. It took all of five minutes before I decided to send out a search party.
I paced in front of the fireplace, anxiety clawing at my throat. The repetitive echo of my footsteps measured the time, stepping in sync with every tick of the clock. Thunder rolled outside, shaking the windows, and the skies darkened further.
The earlier half of my day hadn’t been so grim. She had been on my mind, just in a different way. Now all I could think about was Mathis making a move to kill her just to get back at me. I’d had put her in harm’s way, and now I didn’t even know if it was too late to save her.
My pocket buzzed, and I pulled it out, reading a message from Ysa.
Found her.
Turning on a heel, I rushed out of the room. Blood pounded in my head. My heart raced. Hallway. Stairwell. Another hallway. Lower-level entry.
There she stood, soaking wet, with her arms crossed, and several soldiers near her. Nova appeared to already have shaken out her coat, and she was cleaning her legs. Water was splattered everywhere, and even Ysa’s clothes had been caught in the crossfire.
“Where have you been?” I demanded, storming toward her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her into an embrace. “I’ve had everyone looking for you.”
Danni tensed, not returning any kind of affection. “I was at the koi pond and then I just found a trail in the woods to walk for a while. Why? What is this all about?”
Several members of the guard exchanged glances. “In the rain? You’ve been gone for hours. Who were you with?” I asked, not answering the questions she’d asked. After releasing her, I gripped her upper arms, looking straight into her eyes. I had to know. I had to make sure she was okay. Jordan had known of traitors, and I’d sent out for them to be tracked, but there could be others. Others he hadn’t been aware of.
“I wasn’t with anyone. It was me and Nova.” She twisted, wiggling herself free of my hold. Her eyes darted to the audience of soldiers who were around us before turning attention back to me.
