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“Too bad.” I shrugged, meeting his stare, which was growing more and more heated. “I think I’ve grown rather attached over the past few days.Foolish childrenlike me love lore such as this.”
I’d meant the words to sound light and teasing. Instead, they came out soft and uncertain.
“You know I didn’t mean that,” he said on a sigh, muscles rippling in his taut jaw. “Those creatures, salendons, are deadly. The king trapped them below the palace years ago as hispets.” Jude practically spit out the word, his disgust evident. “Diving in and wrestling with one wasn’t your best idea. I thought you would’ve heard the growls and stayed as far from the water as possible.”
One could only guess what the cruel king used his pets for, and I had a feeling it involved painful deaths for those who’d displeased him.
“Would you have preferred me to let that recruit die?” I crossed my arms defensively. We were so close, his knee touching mine. I could feel the heat emanating from his lean body, his warmth seeping through the thin cotton of my shirt.
“No, I suppose not,” he said at last, his lips curling down. “You wouldn’t be you if you’d allowed him to perish. If anything, I admire you for it. Even if it has me questioning your sanity.”
I startled. “Admireme?” I let out a snort, completely ignoring the last part. “I’m stunned you’d say such a thing.”
Jude shook his head, tangles of black falling into his eyes.
“While I am still, let’s say,irritated, that you did it, I find myself unable to stay angry with you. Especially since your selflessness is an admirable trait for a Knight. And that’s the entire purpose of those tests. To see who stands out among the lot as possible defenders for Asidia.”
“Would you have been angry had it been anyone else?” My question was a whisper.
Seconds ticked by before he answered, his voice equally as soft. “No. I don’t think I would have been.” But before I could ask himwhy, why I was different in his eyes, Jude said, “I expect you to return that to me when you’re finished. Take care of it in the meantime. And trynotto toss it into the bath.” His gaze drifted toward the whirring pool, where the tome almost had met its end minutes before.
“I wouldn’t want to invite the wrath of the most feared man in the kingdom, all because of a book,” I replied cheekily, the pressure on my chest dissipating.
“Most feared man, eh?” Jude repeated, one corner of his mouth curled up in delight. He liked that, didn’t he? A man and his ego.
“Well, perhaps Harlow is the most feared. After training with you both, I’d say he might outdo you on the whole dangerous-and-brooding thing the two of you have going on.” I waved my hand about his face as if to make my point.
This time, Jude laughed outright, pronounced dimples playfully dotting both cheeks. My heart fluttered like a trapped bird.
“If those traits are the deciding factors, then yes, Harlow definitely has me beat. But he’s been around a decade longer than I have. The king rarely allows him to leave the palace walls, claiming he needs one high-ranking Knight in Sciona at all times. I imagine being kept behind the walls doesn’t help with his…disposition.”
That explained why Harlow hadn’t gone into the Mist with Jude a year ago. From the way Jude described it, Harlow didn’t have much choice in the matter.
“Was Isiah with you when…” I trailed off, wincing. Now would be the time to ask about his scars and if he’d gotten them in the Mist, but I held my tongue and glanced at my own gloved hands. If anyone understood that some secrets were harder to share than others, it was me.
“No, Isiah and Harlow were the only high-ranking Knights to stay back,” Jude said, seeming to understand what I’d been about to ask. I watched the column of his throat as he swallowed hard. “Harlow couldn’t run the sanctum alone, and I’m thankful every day he chose Isiah to stay as his second-in-command.”
His blood-speckled hands twitched, and he glanced down to them, his brow wrinkling.
Before he could snatch them away again, I reached out and grabbed his hand.
He jolted at the contact, his eyes turning wide. “What are you doing?” he choked out, his breaths uneven.
“What happened here?” I asked, inspecting his fingers while wiping away the dried flakes where I could.
Jude tensed. “Nothing you should concern yourself with.”
I shouldn’t push but…hells, Ialwayspushed.
“Tell me.” I averted my gaze, focusing solely on rubbing away the red. He surprised me by allowing it.
When time stretched on and he didn’t answer, I garnered the courage and lifted my chin. Jude was staring atmyhands, at my gloves.
“Tell me why you wear those, and I’ll tell you what happened tonight.”
The offer hung in the air between us, both a lifeline and an anchor.
If I told him about my past, about what happened that fateful day, he might look at me differently. Or maybe I’d just grown so accustomed to the wicked gossip of the villagers in Cila, all claiming I was some kind of abomination behind the safety of their cupped hands.
