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"But I need to work on it?"
"Yes," I admit.
"Okay," she says low.
"Are you okay?" I ask. "About thing ending with Richard?"
"I wasn't at the beginning of this call, but I am now. You know why? Because in talking to you, I realize I will love again, but I also know now, I will search for the right person to love, who will love me."
I smile. "I would like to see that, Mom. You deserve it. You really do."
She only hums. "So, second chances?"
"I'll have to think about that."
"I understand. And I'm going to text Richard and tell him I've been on bigger boats than his."
I bark out a laugh. "Do it."
"I will." I hear the smile in her voice. "Do tell me, how it all works out...Please."
"I will."
"Bye, honey."
"Bye, Mom."
As I go to put the phone down, it vibrates again. I see the preview of the text from Jeremiah.
Jer:Please just talk to me. I need...
I blow out a heavy breath and open the message to read the rest.
I need to know you're okay.
Apparently, I haven't cried enough over them because the tears come again now. I owe him much more than silence. I know that. He's not the one who hurt me. Not the one whose words tore my heart apart. So instead of responding to his text, or the manyothers one I see above it, I press the phone icon to call him. He picks up on the second ring.
"Are you okay?" he asks.
"I am. And I'm sorry I've been ignoring you. It just...felt..."
"Easier not to hear my voice?"
"Yes," I admit. "But it was still wrong."
"You don't have to apologize to me, Lexa. I understand. I do miss you, though."
God, his words clench my heart, gripping it with a deadly vice that makes my next words come out hoarse. "I miss you, too."
"So, then—"
"But it doesn't change anything," I interrupt him. "It won't work. It can't work without all of us being in this together, and clearly that's not going to happen."
"Ezekiel's an asshole. We all know that, but he always ends up seeing how wrong he is."
"And I'm supposed to wait around for what? For him to get over his distrust for me? A distrust that I never did anything to put there? No, I deserve better than that. I know I do. And you deserve someone that you can love without feeling like it's dragging you away from your brother. Because that's all me and you being together now would do—it would come in between you and Ezekiel, and I won't be the cause of that. Never. We both know that's what would happen. You would resent him for pushing me away, I would be with one of you when I am in love with both."
"How can you say those words and sound like you're saying goodbye to me all at once?"
