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“But maybe if we got him help, we would still have our son with us,” she chokes out. “Now he’s gone and we’ll never get to see him grow. He’ll never get to make up for the things he did wrong.”
“I don’t think he planned to make up for the things he did wrong,” Ben admits. “But it doesn’t make it okay for you to turn up like this. Imogen cared for your son. She loved him at one point in time. But he did some terrible, cruel things to her. She spent so many nights wondering what she did wrong or how she could make things better for him. He tormented her and planned to ruin her. His plan wasn’t just to pin his death on her, but to destroy her soul. He wanted her to live with the guilt that she is the reason he isn’t here. When that plan failed with me being in the picture, he decided to push it onto me, knowing she would never forgive herself for me being in jail. Your son had the capability to do all of that, and take his life.” He pauses, waiting for them to acknowledge his words for a moment before continuing. “I can only imagine the pain and grief you’re going through right now. I know what it’s like to lose someone who means everything to you. Which is why I understand you’ve come to the one person who makes you feel closer to your son. This isn’t fair on Imogen, though. She won’t tell you because she has a huge heart, but she doesn’t want to take on your grief because she’s dealing with her own stuff. She’s still coming to terms with what he has done.”
“We’re sorry. Our intentions weren’t to come here and hurt you. We will leave in a moment,” Colin promises. “We just wanted to come by to say we’re sorry. We’re sorry for everything our son has done. And sorry we couldn’t do more. We hope that one day, you can find it in yourself to forgive him. Forgive us.”
“This has been hard for us too,” Lindy whispers.“We don’t know the person who did those things to you. That wasn’t our son. And like you, we are still coming to terms with the fact it was the same person.”
I step forward, startling her, and pull her in for a hug. “Please don’t apologise for him.” I pull back, not bothering to hide the tears. “There was a time when he made me laugh, when he was my best friend. There was good in him, Lindy. And he loved you both so much. I hope you find comfort from that.”
She places her hand on Colin’s arm. “Thank you, Imogen,” she whispers brokenly. “Honey, I’m going back to the car.”
She begins to trek back to her car, her movements sluggish. Colin stays behind and waits for her to get further away before talking. “Thank you for giving her that. One day, when you have kids of your own, you will understand just how hard this has been for us. We love our son unconditionally, and hearing people say these things… it’s not been easy. But we are sorry he’s hurt you.”
“It’s okay, Colin,” I assure him. “But just so you know, I really am sorry for your loss.”
He warily watches Ben as he moves forward to kiss me on the cheek. “Take care.”
“You too.”
Ben wraps his arm around me, whilst his free hand tilts my head back. “Are you okay?”
I clear my throat. “That was painful.”
“It was,” he agrees. “But just so we’re clear, you don’t need to hold it in. You can grieve for the friend you lost.”
“I can’t grieve for him. It would be easier if I could but I can’t. I understand why they say you can’t speak ill of the dead. It will only make it difficult for those who cared for him, and prolong the grief for those who loved him. But I also couldn’t fake it. Zach wasn’t a good person to me. He hurt me in a way no one else ever has, and painting him out to be a saint wouldn’t have done me any good. Maybe one day I will feel differently, but right now, I just want to forget. I want to live in the moment. I want to be with you, and fill our days with laughter and love. I choose to move forward.”
“And what does moving forward look like?” he questions, pulling me against him.
“It means moving in with the man I love and hopefully spending the rest of my life with him.”
“I like the sound of that,” he muses.
I nod, because I knew he would. “It means having someone to share my life with. To play video games with. It means taking back the job Zach took from me. It means being happy. And I am happy with you.”
“Good, because I plan to move forward with you,” he rasps, leaning in close.
“And have lots and lots of sex,” I add as his lips brush against mine.
“Then I promise to sleep next to you for always and forever—even when you snore. I promise to always be the person you confide in, and who you can share the good and the bad with. I promise to make sure you always have your favourite foods. I swear to treat your family as my own. I will always be your backup in a game or in life. I’ll never make you feel like a secret or less than. And I promise to love you and make you happy. I love you, Imogen, and I’m moving forward with you.”
Tears well up in my eyes as I wrap my arms around his neck. “I love you too.”
“Bitch! Come on before we start without you,” Hayden yells.
I drop my head back and laugh at the groan Ben lets out. “Okay, I may be pushed to break my oath about treating your family as my own. For Hayden anyway.”
I reach up and kiss him. “Let’s go celebrate moving forward.”
He snags my hand as we begin to make our way to the house. My cheeks ache from smiling, but nothing could wipe it away.
At seventeen years old, I thought I would never be happy again after Ben rejected me. People make fun of those who believe in love at first sight, but it does exist. A mother loves when they hold their baby for a first time.
I spent so long mourning the fact I would never feel what I did for Ben with anyone else, I began to come to terms with it.
But I think him rejecting me happened for a reason. I believe it made me grow as a person and as a woman. It gave me a chance to experience other things. But mostly, it made me cherish what we have now. It made me realise what we have is rare and special and should never be taken for granted.
Now, years later, we get to begin our life together. We get a second chance, and we get to do it together.
And it couldn’t get more beautiful than that.
We might not be guaranteed tomorrow, but we always have today.
And we’ll always have each other.
