Page 119 of Dirty Saint


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Koah moved first, coming to my side and sitting on the bed beside me. He took my hand and held it tightly in his. His light eyes scanned my face, sorrow and relief swimming in his gaze.

“You’re awake,” he croaked, his voice sounding broken and unused.

I nodded, a slight grin tugging at the corner of my mouth. “It appears that way. Unless I’m dreaming.” I chuckled, the sound coming out hoarse and rough.

It felt like I was learning how to use my voice again.

Koah didn’t smile back at me. Instead, he dropped his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Hey,” I said, reaching up and cupping his cheek. “I’m okay.”

His gaze clashed with mine, but still, he said nothing.

I looked around the room, my eyes sliding across each person and taking in their expressions. I was awake, but they looked like they were at my funeral.

“You guys look like someone died. I’m here. I’m awake.”

Still, they stared back at me, gloom and despair washing through them. Crow towered over them, his somber eyes even darker, if possible. Skull’s green gaze was sharp as he held Everly close to his side as if he were afraid he would lose her. Everly seemed happiest to see me, but even her face was stiff and unnatural. But it was Joker, the one I knew hated me the most, that was the most surprising. His eyes connected with mine, and instead of fury in his frigid stare, something warm entered, making me pull back.

It was then I realized someone was missing. I sat up a little, pain jumping through my nerves and making me growl against the hurt. I scanned the room, again landing on each person, including the nursing staff standing by, but not everyone was there.

Who was missing?

Then I knew.

“Gracie,” I requested, looking back at Koah. “Where’s my sister?”

His face paled, and his eyes watered. I stared at him, not understanding why he wasn’t speaking, and when a lone tear escaped his lashes and rushed down his cheek, I followed it until it dripped from his chin. He opened his mouth to speak, but a broken noise came from his cracked lips.

“Where’s Gracie, Koah?” I asked again, panic twisting up my spine and making me go stiff.

Pain bloomed in my center as I stretched to sit up more. I wrapped my arms around myself, hoping to stave off the pain as I took in the rest of the people in the room. No one was speaking. Instead, they stared back at me, waiting for me to come to a realization that wasn’t coming.

Finally, Skull stepped forward, Everly at his side. She moved to the side of my bed opposite Koah, covered my hand with hers, and closed her eyes.

“There was an accident the night you were shot,” Skull spoke, his voice deep and slow.

Shit. He was right. I had been shot. I remembered it, but it didn’t seem real until he spoke those words. My gaze bounced to Joker, and he dropped his head, unable to look me in the eye as if it were his fault I was shot. It wasn’t.

I looked back at Skull, and my eyes clashed with his emerald gaze, holding. “Okay,” I said carefully.

They were all dancing around something, and I felt afraid to respond.

“Trooper was in an accident on his motorcycle. He lost control of his bike and wrecked it.”

I licked my dry lips and nodded. “Okay, but what does that have to do with Gracie?”

The night ran through my mind on fast-forward until it paused on the second I had pushed Gracie to get on the back of Trooper’s bike and begged him to take her with him. I wanted her safe and away from the guns and chaos. I had even watched them drive away from The Strip.

Trooper was in a motorcycle accident.

Skull’s words slowly began to make sense.

No.

God no.

“Gracie was with him,” I said, my body growing tense.

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