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Thefluorescentlightsaboveme are blinding when I open my eyes. I blinked away the blur, trying to focus on the ceiling, but soon, little black dots danced around my vision. Clenching my eyes closed, I tried to take a deep breath, but nothing happened. I couldn’t breathe, and my panic peaked. I jerked, waving my arms around and sending a rocket of pain through my entire body.
“She’s awake,” a woman said, her voice sounding far away.
Things were holding me down, hooked to my arms, face, and anything else I tried to move, but it was the lack of oxygen that made my brain explode in anxiety. I fought against everything, trying to free myself and take a deep breath, but I couldn’t do any of it.
“Tori,” someone called above me, trying to get my attention.
I looked around, but everything was blurry. I couldn’t see anyone, just colors and shapes, but I could sense that I was surrounded. There was chaotic movement around me and a calming hand on my face, trying to keep me aware.
“Tori, you’re at Grady Memorial Hospital. Do you remember what happened?”
I turned, taking in the young nurse at my side. She smiled softly down at me. I nodded, remembering every second at The Strip—the fight before the riot—the gunshots—the fire in my body. I couldn’t remember anything after that, and I panicked, suddenly feeling like I needed to get up and check on everyone.
Again, I tried to take a deep breath, but nothing happened.
I mouthed words to the nurse at my side, my voice blocked by something.
“I can’t breathe.”
She nodded, understanding me. “You have a breathing tube in.” Her voice echoed around me. “We’ll remove it, but you have to calm down.”
I heard what she was saying, but registering took a minute. I lay back, tears rolling down the sides of my face and into my hairline. I was suffocating, and everything hurt. Why wasn’t anyone helping me?
I calmed myself, closing my eyes and trying to realize the people around me were trying to help me. I wasn’t breathing on my own, but I wasn’t suffocating either. If I wanted to fix this, I needed to be calm.
“Good job, Tori. We’ll remove the tube now. Just try to relax.”
The nurse moved above me, her eyes on something around my chest as she worked, and then she smiled down at me again.
“Okay, here we go. Ready?”
I nodded.
“One. Two. Three.”
And then I gagged as something was pulled from my throat. I choked, coughing a few times, and then I took a deep breath that burned my throat and made a bruising pain ricochet through my chest. It was almost as if I couldn’t fill my lungs because if I tried, the pain was unbearable.
“Ouch,” I muttered, releasing my breath and feeling another blast of pain through my core.
My face was covered with an oxygen mask. A burst of cool air rushed into my face, and I breathed it in.
Opening my eyes again, I blinked, and the blur slowly cleared. First, the bright lights above became clear, and then the room came into view. The space spun a few times, making me feel nauseated. I moaned, feeling the pain in my chest again. My eyes settled on the tubes connected to my body, restricting my movements and making me feel trapped.
I moved to sit up, but the nurse laid a hand on my chest. “I’ll sit you up in an hour. We have to make sure you can breathe comfortably on your own before we move you. We don’t want you to pull anything or hurt yourself.”
I lay there, my eyes slowly closing until I fell asleep.
WHEN I OPENED MY EYES AGAIN, the chaos around me had calmed. I tried to sit up, but the nurse appeared at my side, stopping me.
“I’ll sit you up, but we must take it slow, okay?”
I nodded.
The head of the bed began to rise, slowly sitting me up and making agony slice through me. I hissed at the pain until the bed stopped.
That was when I saw Koah. He stood at the end of my bed, watching over me with an expression that broke my heart. The devastation in his eyes sent a shock wave through me. He looked terrible, dark circles under his eyes and his skin pale. His hair was messy as if he had repeatedly run his fingers through it. He opened his mouth to say something and then snapped it shut. Then a soft smile lifted his lips, and relief settled into his expression.
I scanned the space around him, my eyes pausing on the rest of his crew and Everly, Skull’s girlfriend. They were all there, including Joker, smiling down at me, yet everything felt as if their smiles were forced. Their eyes were wide, sadness swimming around their edges, and it didn’t make any sense. Were they not happy that I was awake?
