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Why did I have to say it?
I definitely sounded like a crazy girlfriend.
He chuckled and shook his head. “She’s a friend of mine.”
“Do you always kiss your friends?” I officially sounded jealous. Spite dripped from my words.
He sighed, his expression darkening. “It was just a kiss, Tori. It was nothing.”
“Was our kiss nothing, too?”
His face cleared for a moment before his smile slipped back into place. “You’re trippin’. We were having fun, right?”
My heart dropped.
“Is that what we were doing? Just having fun?”
He leaned forward, his sweet breath striking my lips. “You looked like you were having fun when I had my fingers in your creamy pussy.”
I pulled back as if he had struck me. “Wow.”
It was all I could say. I was offended and hurt, and I didn’t know what else. I should have known better than to let myself get so involved quickly, especially with a guy like Koah Saint, who had women throwing themselves at him. He said he didn’t sleep around, but technically, we hadn’t slept together. Was he doing with other women what he was doing with me? Or was he doing more?
His smile faded. “Don’t get clingy. We’re friends.”
Friends.
I never thought I would see the day when I considered Koah a friend.
“Is that what we are?” I asked.
Did friends kiss each other? Did friends get each other off with their mouths? That was new to me.
“Yeah. We’re friends.”
Whatever he saw on my face had him reaching up and running his large fingers through my hair.
“Listen, Tori. You’ll thank me for this one day.”
Whatever that meant. All I knew was I didn’t feel very thankful at that moment. I felt broken. It was as if the little bit of the brightness I had found after all these years was snuffed out. It hurt, but I wasn’t about to let Koah see that.
Instead, I nodded and managed a small smile. If we were just friends and nothing more, then great. I had no reason to get upset. It wasn’t like he made any promises. I should have been angry with myself for dropping my walls so quickly.
“Actually, I’m thanking you already,” I said.
His brows pulled low in confusion. “You are?”
I nodded. “Yep.”
And then, before my facade slipped, I turned and walked away. Koah wanted to be friends? Fine. I could be his friend. It hurt, but it was the least I could do, considering I had spent the past ten years wishing for his suffering.
It wasn’t his fault I didn’t know what I was doing when it came to fooling around. Obviously, it was how things were done with the Sons of Sinister, but it didn’t mean I would continue to do it. In my mind, friends didn’t do the things we had done, so I would make sure we never did it again.
20
Saint
Toriwalkedawayfromme, her shoulders tense. I hurt her feelings and felt like shit about it, but it was for the best. I was trying to stay away from her while maintaining our friendship at the same time. We shared a lot—our pasts and demons—but I found it hard to be near her and not put my hands on her. Even after I had told myself no more, I still found my hands on her legs under the table the last time we went to Waffle House.
