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“I can’t!” My deep breathing makes my chest brush against his and I grow more lost by the minute. This is too much. Thunder rumbles in the distance and I smell rain in the air. And through all of it, I’m frozen on the beach, aching to be pulled into his embrace.
“You can, Cori. You can let go and allow me to carry you.” Blaze’s voice gentles as he tugs me the final inches, my body perfectly aligned with his, our eyes connected intimately. “Let go.”
For a week, I’ve ached, my frustration building as I dream of Blaze both in my sleep and during the day. I see him even when he isn’t with me. I want him even if I know it’s foolish to feel this way.
“I can’t,” I say again, my words whipped away by the building wind.
“We let each other go once before. I won’t beg you to let me give you what we both want, but I’ll certainly give you something to think about.”
His eyes darken as his face lowers. His lips are less than an inch from my own. Is this a promise or a threat? I’m also beyond caring. I need to taste him again, to relinquish my last bit of control. But I can’t tell him this. I want him to take it, to take the decision from me.
Another clap of thunder explodes, this one so close, it rattles both of us. Neither of us look to the sky. We’re too absorbed in each other. All I have to do is lean forward and my misery will end.
“All you have to do is admit you want me.” His voice is commanding, insistent. I want to fall in line with what he wants — what we both want. I want to tell him to leave me alone. No, I want to tell him to take me. I want towantto tell him to leave me alone. There’s a big difference. I open my mouth to say exactly this, but it’s not what comes out.
“I need you, Blaze,” I whisper. My reward is a savage gleam in his eyes. I can barely think, so instead I try to process the emotion flickering through his dark gaze.
His body’s solid as steel as he presses against me. Rain is close, the ocean behind us thrashing wildly like my heart. A soft moan escapes my lips and is swallowed up in the storm. It all adds to the desire I can’t push away.
Blaze doesn’t hesitate any longer. He closes the final gap between us and takes my mouth in a punishing kiss, his tongue easily sliding past my open lips as he overpowers me in the most delicious way. There’s no more hesitation as I meet his demands with some of my own. My fingers climb his solid shoulders and grasp his hair as I tug him closer, demanding what I so desperately need. This kiss is nothing like the one a few nights ago. This kiss promises me a night of passion, of wonder, ofthings I can’t even begin to dream about. Time has changed both of us, and not in a bad way.
His hands roam my back until he reaches my curved behind and he tugs me into him, allowing me to feel the power of his desire. He’s so hard, so strong. I want to be lost forever in his embrace.
The desire I’ve felt since our incredible weekend together is now boiling over, and I wiggle against him, unable to get as close as I want to be. I need him inside me, and even then, I fear it won’t be enough. No matter how much I try fighting it, Blaze is the one person who allows me to be free, and I relish the freedom. I’m not willing to let it go — not when I’m so happy where I am.
When his lips break away from mine, a whimper escapes. I clutch at his hair, trying to bring him back. When my eyes open, I gaze at him and my core squeezes tightly.
“I need you, Cori. Come home with me.” He bends down and kisses my neck. He knows just the place that makes me fall apart.
“Yes.” I’m willing to follow him to the pits of hell if that’s what it takes to ease the suffering I’ve self-inflicted for so many years.
We’re so good together, but I can’t get past the niggling in my brain that warns me this is only temporary, he’ll go off to see the world again while I stay and do what I always do. It doesn’t matter though. None of it matters. All I care about is the here and now and easing the ache I can’t curb.
But as he gazes at me, the remembered pain of leaving me behind begins to filter through my hormone-addled brain. I barely survived re-entering the real world after our summer together. I’m barely handling my emotions after our weekend together. Ten years ago, I almost gave up all of my plans and dreams so I could chase after him. Will I try to do that again this time?
I hesitantly admit my life isn’t as perfect as I want it to be. Knowing this, will I be able to pick up the pieces? If I fall into his arms and sate my raging need, will it open the gap of my pain to unbearable trauma? Am I willing to take the risk?
I shake as I gaze at him. I watch as careful awareness enters his eyes. He knows I’m pulling back. He can fight me on it — and win. I know this too. I want him to. I want him to force me from my own mind. He doesn’t say anything and the choice is back in my hands. I almost hate him for this more than anything else.
“We can’t,” I finally say, feeling the need to break into tears. “This is a bad idea, Blaze.”
Rage filters through his gaze, but he somehow manages to control it. His fingers press tightly into my skin as he struggles with whatever streams through him.
“We both know this is right, Cori.” He clenches his teeth. “You want me as much as I want you.”
“This is simply a chemical reaction.” I push away from him. This time he lets me go and emptiness fills me as ragged breaths huff out of me.
“I didn’t take anything from you. I asked. You answered.”
There’s a clap of thunder at the end of his words, and the promised rain pours over us, steam coming off of our overheated bodies, making my knees weak. I want to run my tongue along the raindrops dripping over his lips. We’ve made love in the rain before. It was exquisite.
“No, you didn’t take what I didn’t want to give.”
“But you’ve changed your mind.” It isn’t a question.
“Yes,” I whisper.
“You’re damning us both.” Blaze growls. He reaches out and grabs my wet hand, pulling it against his body so my fingers are pressed against his solid flesh. The rain has molded his clothes to him and I can see andfeelhis desire. It makes my core tighten. I squeeze the slightest bit before pulling away from him.
