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I do the gentlemanly thing and set Zoe’s belongings down, though I do remove the purse, leaving a lap blanket on top, so Suzanne has a somewhat soft landing.
Before we leave her there, knowing she’s in no danger, I ask Zoe if she has a notebook, then proceed to jot a quick warning to Suzanne.
Suzanne,
If you haven’t vacated your premises within a week, Zoe’s recording will be given to the police. I’m sure they’ll be able to find some charges to throw at you. If not, and maybe even if they do, it will be shared with your clients. They deserve to know the type of person they’re doing business with, after all.
Also, Zoe’s leave will be deemed as a mutual decision and you will give her a generous severance package.
Mr. and Mrs. Doyle
Zoe, looking over my shoulder as I write, applauds me. “The sign off is a nice touch.”
“I thought so, too,” I agree. “Seeing eye to eye is important in a marriage.”
“You know what else is?” Zoe asks as she stands directly in front of me. I shake my head no, not wanting to risk breaking the spell she’s putting me under with that softness in her eyes. “Love.
“You, uh,” I hurriedly swallow the spit gathering in my mouth, “love me?”
“I’ve never experienced it before,” she admits, head dropping with embarrassment, “but I’ve always imagined it would be like this.”
Wanting her to see the depth of my feelings for her, I gently tap her chin, needing her to choose to look at me. Zoe hasn’t been given a lot of opportunities to make her own choices. They’ve been forced on her. Our son or daughter is the first she’s made and it led her to me. And I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she doesn’t regret our child. I want that to be true of me, of us, too.
“Like what?”
“Like my day isn’t complete if I don’t see or talk to you. Like a simple touch from you can make it better. Like I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. With whom I’m meant to be with.”
Since that mirrors how I’m feeling, I simply lean forward, giving her time to move if she’s not ready, and press a light kiss to her lips. I feel her lean forward, increasing the pressure, and I take it as permission to continue.
Perhaps the driveway isn’t the best place to do this, especially as Suzanne is starting to stir, but I can’t find the strength to stop. Not when Zoe doesn’t want me to.
Eventually, though, we pull apart, each of us staring in wonder at the other.
“Seems you’re getting all of my firsts,” I tell Zoe, my thumb swiping across her bottom lip, as if trying to imprint myself on her.
“What?” Oh yeah. While we’ve shared a lot, I’ve never spoken of that. Neither has she. Maybe it’s because then wasn’t the time. When we weren’t sure what we were yet. Now that we know… “You’ve never?” I shake my head no.
“Aside from a hand shake for business purposes, I’ve never touched a woman. I told you I’m old-fashioned. Add on that my diagnosis came when I was, as they say, ‘in my prime,’ I didn’t have time for dating nor was I interested in doing so. I was literally fighting for my life. A battle that I struggled with for years as it returned once.” I shrug as though it was no big deal, although we both know it was. And it still is. I’m not fully in the clear just yet. However, I am closer than I’ve ever been to reaching that mark.
Which I need to share with her. She knows some, though not all. I’m fully aware that wasn’t fair to her. I should’ve told her before we got married, but I was scared of losing her.
Offering her my hand, we leave Suzanne behind, her cursing mere background noise as we reach our door and she heads toward hers. She does have a lot to do after all and not a lot of time to do it in.
Once we’re seated, I explain that my Hodgkin’s can still return, but each year that passes without it happening is one closer to it never occurring again. Taking a deep breath, praying this isn’t too much for her, I start to continue with statistics and so forth.
But she stops me. “I know there are no promises when it comes to cancer. No promise that it won’t come back. No promise that it will. I can promise you this, though. I will be here for any and all of it. You’re stuck with me, Mr. Doyle.”
“Aside from I do, those are the best words you’ve ever said to me.”
“How about I love you?”
“They just keep getting better,” I grin. “I love you, too.”
Epilogue One
Zoe
Four months later…
