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He simply nods and lets me go on my way. The air is heavy at the implication; in just a few short days, I will make a decision one way or the other.
I just hope I make the right one.
Chapter 17
Once I’m within the bounds of the Society, Olivia rushes to me for a hug. “Thank fuck! I was so worried he was gonna kill you.”
“No killing.” I hug her back, unsure how to even broach this conversation. She’s going to want to know the details of our meeting, of course she is. At this point, there’s no reason to not be honest with her. I pull back from the hug so that I can look at her when I tell her everything. “A lot happened, though. Let’s go sit somewhere.”
She looks apprehensive at my words, but follows my lead and sits down by a tree.
I turn to face her, legs crossed. “He was telling the truth.”
She shakes her head slowly, confusion clear on her face. “How do you know? You were so sure he was lying.”
I glance to the side, wondering how I can explain what he did. “I—weknow the Elders can do things we can’t. Things we don’t even know about.” I sigh, looking down at my hands. “He…showed me. Here.” My eyes catch hers as I point to my temple.
She looks even more confused and hugs herself. “What, like…like telepathically or something?”
I nod. “Yeah, kinda. He showed me memories, I think. Except they weremymemories,myemotions. From my previous lives.” I swallow and my throat feels dry. “Most with Arman, some without. I can’t explain it other than Iknowthey were real. It’s like something…clicked in me, y’know?”
She doesn’t say anything for a while, simply staring with an unreadable expression. Finally, she whispers, “What are you gonna do?”
I let out a large breath, untangle my legs and then stand. “How do you feel about a party?”
~ ~·~ ~
When I wake up the next morning, I can’t move from my bed. I feel paralyzed with indecision, unable to move forward because I know once I do, my life will completely change one way or the other. Staying still is safer. More comfortable.
Except my days of comfort are over. Someone else might say days of ignorance. Is there really a difference, though? What was that old saying, “ignorance is bliss”?
I groan, turning to hide my face in my pillow. No matter how much I want to stay here, I know I need to get up and start planning the party. I’ll tell Elliot it’s an engagement party, something to bring our family and friends together as one. With this, I heave myself up from the bed, knowing if I continue thinking I’ll remain in a perpetual state of limbo and never leave this room.
The best way to contact a group of people is via official letter. I’ll first draft the letter and then go to Elliot’s house in a couple hours to tell him of the plan. If he’s on board like I suspect,I’ll ask my dad to get the invitations distributed. To give people enough time to plan ahead, we’ll have the party next week.
Drafting the letter comes easily; I finish it within twenty minutes. No surprise, really, as it’s a simple invitation, asking the recipients to “celebrate our love” for a final time before the binding ceremony.
I fold the invitation and hurriedly get dressed, wanting to get to Elliot’s quickly. Now that I’ve begun putting plans into motion, it starts to feel compulsory. Before I couldn’t move, now I feel as though I can’t stop. Stopping and thinking will only cause the fear I am just barely keeping at bay to boil to the surface.
I rush down the stairs and almost run straight into my mother.
Her eyes widen in surprise. “Amelia! Where are you off to so early?” She glances down at my hands and plucks the paper from me. “What’s this?”
I watch as she reads it, feeling guilty when I see her eyes light up. If she knew the real reason for the party, she wouldn’t be so excited.
“Oh, Amelia, this is a great idea!” She hands the paper back to me and kisses my temple. “Elliot is such a nice boy, sweetheart. I’m very pleased with the Elders’ choice.” She smiles and holds my face in her hands, stroking my cheeks. “I know this hasn’t been easy for you, but you’ve really shown growth. I’m so proud of you, honey.”
I can’t hold her gaze; it hurts too much. The only thing I can picture is how her eyes will look when she finds out the truth.
Ifshe finds out the truth. I haven’t made my decision yet.
“Thanks, mother,” I murmur, removing myself from her grasp and hurrying out the door to get out of the stifling house. As soon as the crisp morning air hits my lungs, I suddenly feel like I can breathe again.
The drive to Elliot’s house is over more quickly than I expected; I was so lost in thought, I barely realized we had even left my house to begin with.
Elliot’s father answers the door. I explain to him why I’m there, and he leaves to get Elliot. He’s a rather reserved person, and I haven’t gotten the opportunity to get to know him as well as Elliot’s mother. Still, he seems like a nice man and happy with the way our relationship is progressing.
I watch as Elliot hops down the stairs and to the door, a grin on his face. “Morning, beautiful.” He gives me a quick peck on the cheek and motions for me to come inside.
