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“What has the world done for you, Ilsa? Used you and tossed you to the side.”
“There are still innocent people that need protecting.”
I finally met her eyes. I expected to see hurt, but I wasn’t prepared for the rage that burned in them.
“I thoughtyouunderstood,” I said. “I’m a demon, I’m not like you.”
“Pathetic woman, thinking a demon needs her approval.” Emrick scoffed.
“Fuck off, Emrick. This doesn’t involve you.”
He didn’t seem at all bothered by the way I talked to him, although one of his guards raised his lips in a sneer at my tone, the one with blond hair cracked his knuckles. Emrick simply continued to smirk, apparently thriving and joyful at the exchange between Ilsa and myself, engrossing himself in the breakdown of what we had built.
Humans and demons—we were too different.
“Are you sure this is what you want?”
Ilsa was offering me an out, one last chance to leave this behind and go with her. But where would that leave me? If I chose her over myself—if I chose us—I’d have to find another way to unleash my demon, to satiate that part of me so I could function in this world, and she’d be in danger again. I didn’t know how I could soothe the need for violence without her disapproval. There was no better way than working for Emrick—an income and the freedom to get violent—and Ilsa couldn’t offer me that.
“Yes.”
Her eyes darted to mine, her jaw clenched against whatever it was she was holding back, expressions or emotions I couldn’t predict and probably wouldn’t understand anyway.
“Goodbye, Ray,” she said, turning on her heel and leaving, throwing the bouncer by the door a glare as he shifted to the side before she disappeared down the stairs.
ILSA
What the fuck just happened?
She went in there with me, figurative guns blazing, ready to take down the bad guy and reclaim her freedom and what she had recognized of her soul, what I had seen in her eyes when she shared my memories, and all the things she had learned about what it meant to be human. I didn’t expect her to be human—she was a demon, I knew that—and although the doubts occasionally still swirled in my mind as though I was constantly sorting reality from a dream, I think I had done well accepting her for who and what she was. I had seen her change in the time we were together and had seen snippets of what she wasbeyondthe demon, evidence there was more to her than fighting and fucking.
There was a cheeky, intelligent, funny woman. Confident and sexy, protective and yes, even vulnerable at times.
But all she saw of herself was a demon, and Emrick’s offer had been too much of a temptation for her to turn down.
Part of me understood, but I couldn’t accept it. She knew how I felt about what she was doing from the start, and while I’m aware there are many shades of gray, being in the employ of someone like Emrick was running a mile backward.
Whatever. It wasn’t my job to change her mind. She’d figure it out soon enough when she came across the consequences of her work. It might not happen straight away, maybe not for months, but one day, she’d see it, and on that day, I’d not be there to tell herI told you so.
Because I would be long gone, gone from her life and this city.
She’d tainted it for me. I had found purpose in searching for her these past few months, and when we were thrown together through circumstance, I had found meaning and comfort in her presence with me as we learned together about acceptance, boundaries, and being more than we thought we could be. I had started to like what I felt and who I became when I was with her—someone who wasn’t broken beyond repair, but simply someone who needed one who understood them.
Someone who, as she had said, could read them like a book.
But all of it had been an illusion, part of her seductive nature, and I obviously meant nothing more to her than a convenience at the time.
Ray had chosen her nature over me, and that was okay.
I was okay with it.
Really I was.
Liar.
RAY
Three assignments from Emrick later, and I was feeling pretty damn good.
