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I’ve been on the phone with Rob for the past hour, going over the details of the trade. Me for draft picks and some money. Six years with the Tigers, and this is it.
“They’ll be sending a private jet for you, and I’ll get my assistant on lining up movers, along with a realtor on both ends if that’s what you want. Just tell me what you need, Sean. I know this is happening quickly, but they need you on the field in two days. They’re not interested in losing their standing.”
“I understand.”
My stomach sinks with thoughts of explaining this to Andie. The guilt I feel over moving forward with her and now having to tell her I’m leaving is killing me. The last thing I want to do is hurt her or leave her any more confused or conflicted with everything she’s dealing with.
“I’ll see you in a few days in Phoenix,” Rob says, pulling me from the dread rolling around in my gut.
I thank him, hanging up and trying to figure out what to say to Andie to make sure she knows I’m not going anywhere. I need her to know this doesn't mean I’m leaving her. The problem is, that’s what she’s used to. She’s not used to people fighting for her, but I will.
Needing a few minutes, I shower and then go in search of her. I find Ax in his playpen and hear the shower running, so I lift him out and take him into the living room. The idea of leaving these two is like being torn right down my middle.
I don’t want to go, but I can’t stay. Football isn’t just my job. I love it. It gave me life and hope when I didn’t have anything else that could. It’s just not everything to me anymore.
I sit on the floor, setting Ax between my legs, and he quickly tries to climb over my thigh to get to Snipe. I tug him back, tickling his sides, and a giggle erupts from his belly.
The sound lifts my spirit from the bottom of a pit, and I do it again just to hear him laugh. I hold him above my head, pretending he’s an airplane, realizing how much I’ll miss this.
I’m not just going to miss Andie. After these past few days, Ax has become my little buddy. I’ll miss my time on the floor with him, watching him try to figure out how to maneuver his little body. Having him look or reach for me or holding him while he sleeps.
As a boy, my whole life was moving and starting over. I became good at remaining unattached to people and things, never knowing when it would be my time to go. Maybe for the first time, I find that despite the potential pain and heartbreak, I don’t want to do that anymore. I might have to move, but I don’t want to move on.
Andie steps into the room and smiles at Ax and me, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. She sits on the couch adjacent to me, tucking her legs underneath her and curling up like she’s guarding herself. There’s already a distance between us, and I hate it. I’d like to go right back to what we were doing before the phone call and forget all of this, but I can’t.
“Come over here.” With Ax still above me, I gesture with my head to the spot on the floor next to me.
She doesn’t react immediately like she has to think about it. Her sluggish movement tells me she’s bracing herself, or maybe shielding herself, from what she suspects is coming.
She scoots down next to me. I set Ax down in front of us, pulling a toy piano close to him, and he starts pounding away.
“What did Rob have to say?” Her question is soft, like she doesn’t really want me to answer.
I decide it’s best to just rip the Band-Aid off. “The Tigers traded me. I have some calls to make and things to sort out this afternoon, but I leave early tomorrow morning. I have to get to work immediately. My first game is next week.”
“Where?”
I slide my hand into hers, needing her to know this is not the end. “Phoenix. It’s a good team and a supportive organization, so not a bad deal.”
She nods, lacing her fingers through mine, bringing me a small amount of comfort. “Is it bad that I’m happy you won’t be working with Doug the Dick anymore?”
I wrap my arm around her and pull her to my chest, kissing her forehead. Her sassy mouth is everything I need. This woman is something else, and I don’t know how this will work, but it has to because there isn’t a chance in hell I’m giving her up.
_______
I flip the switch, and the night lights flick to life, accompanying the dim wall lamp beside my bed. Cool, crisp air bites my skin as I crack the window, but it’s refreshing and helps calm my anxiety about all the changes I’m facing.
I spent the afternoon going back and forth with Rob’s assistant, making arrangements for my transfer and move. It wasn’t how I wanted to spend my last bit of time with Andie, but it had to be done.
The sounds of her strumming on her guitar while Ax slept and I made phone calls filtered through the house. It’s just one more thing I’m going to miss. I could get used to hearing her sing, play, and work out lyrics. Listening to her would never get tiresome. Her voice is the most beautiful sound. The song she’s working on is raw and emotional, and I won’t be here for its progress.
My phone buzzes on the nightstand.
MARK: Can’t wait to face off in AZ. I’ll be seeing you soon, bro. Congrats.
News of the trade hit hard and fast. New teammates are welcoming me, and former ones are sending me on with best wishes. Tyrell is pissed, but he’ll get over it. The worst is not even having a chance to tell my team goodbye. All of the chatter matters, but as I sit waiting for Andie to put Ax down for the night, all I really care about is making sure she knows that I’m still here.
Like she knows I’m thinking about her, she appears in my doorway. She’s wearing a cropped white t-shirt with Rock n Roll in pink letters scrolled across it, black leggings, and brightly striped socks pulled up to her shins. Her hair spills all around her, and I try to cement the vision in my mind, needing to take it with me.
