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“No,” I murmured. “I did.”
“How?” he pulled back and gazed up at me with teary eyes and, yes, a runny, red nose.
I sucked in a breath, my thoughts warring in my head. Be honest and risk him feeling like I was too weak to be depended on? Or keep it to myself, and be less brave than he was being right now?
“Please, Luke.” He stroked my neck with his hand, going up ontiptoe to tangle his fingers into my hair. “I can take it.”
“Take what? This isn’t your fault. I have no criticisms of you.”
“I can take your hurt. I can support you too, you know. Let me.”
I couldn’t help it; tears rose in my eyes again and my throat ached. My voice sounded gritty with effort when I spoke. “I don’t want you to have to deal with my hurt. I’m the Dom, and—”
“And you’remine,” he murmured, kissing my neck and jaw. “I love you. Be honest with me. Please.”
“Christ.” I closed my eyes against his sweet, pleading eyes.
“Tell me.”
I sucked in a quivery breath. “All right. I’m afraid if I’m vulnerable with you…”
My knees felt wobbly. When was the last time I’d been this exposed to anyone? I couldn’t remember. Maybe not ever. “I’m scared you’ll think I don’t have what it takes. I won’t be strong enough to keep you.”
Mitchell cringed. “I’m sorry. It’s my fault you feel that way. But, if it helps, I’m in love with you. That’s not something Kyle can ever give me.”
I sighed, my pulse hammering in my throat. I took hold of his hand. “All right, I’ll try to be less insecure. As your Dom, as your lover.”
“I kind of like it that you’re insecure too,” Minty admitted, clinging to me even tighter. “It makes me feel like we’re equals. And even though I need you to hurt me, I also want to feel like I have power over you too. And when you show your hand like this, I see I do.”
“Minty…”
“Is that very bad of me?” He added a spin of seduction to his question.
“Yes.”
“And are you going to punish me for it?”
I huffed a dark laugh. “You have no fucking idea.”
“I can’t wait.”
“Well, you’ll just have to because I don’t have it in me tonight.”
“See? There you go. Expressing weakness isn’t so hard, is it?”
I rolled my eyes, but tugged him closer to me, nuzzling his hair.
“It’s like Aikido. Being vulnerable on the mat doesn’t mean you open yourself up to get knocked out. It’s more about staying open so you can push and pull, give and take.” Minty drew back and looked up to me. “It’s like…you and your training partner have to move together until you can resolve the conflict—the training fight—in a mutually beneficial way.”
I frowned, confused. “I’m sorry, baby. I don’t get it.”
“I’m saying you can trust me,” Mitchell went on. “You can be vulnerable with me, Luke. I want you to be, and I can handle it. Please give me a chance to prove it to you.”
I couldn’t bring myself to promise anything. Not just yet. There was still so much anxiety roiling inside me. Was I truly enough? Could Ieverbe enough for him?
I closed my eyes and bent to rest my head against Mitchell’s shoulder. He rubbed my back, and I took in his comfort willingly. We held each other for a few minutes, and then Mitchell said, “We should get dressed and eat before the meal is ruined.”
“Yes,” I agreed. “Let’s.”
