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‘The thing is … I failed.’ Cameron lifts their joined hands and kisses her knuckles. ‘Because we did connect emotionally. We already had a connection before this conference, with all those phone calls at work. Then so many times last week I forgot about trying to keep my distance, and god Jules, you made it so easy for me to open up to you. You said you felt comfortable around me? Well, I felt the same with you. There was no artifice. Except the huge lie I was telling myself the whole time.’
He steps in and Jules has to tilt her head back. His caramel eyes swim with emotion, making her light-headed from the way he’s looking at her. Like she’s the most important thing in the world.
‘Cameron,’ she breathes.
He presses her hand to his heart. It’s racing as much as hers is.
‘And it wasn’t even just forgetting to be closed off, it was actively wanting to open up to you. You know the real reason I ran out of the room when you told me you liked my personality more than my body? Because I wanted so badly to tell you all of this then. About Braden and how screwed up that made me, and about how much I valued you and the safe space you created when we were together. I was running from the strength of my feelings. But I couldn’t even do it right because I came back and begged you to go to dinner with me. It was impossible to ignore how I felt after that.’
Jules’s inhalation is shaky. ‘Thank you. For explaining how you were feeling. But you still …’ The ache in her chest pulses, needy. ‘Why did you end things if you felt like that?’
His mouth opens and closes a few times with false starts. ‘I ran into Braden before my presentation.’ His hand flexes on Jules’s, still over his racing heart, and he clears his throat. ‘I felt blindsided. She … implied she wanted to hook up again.’ Jules’s chest pangs at that, though it’s clear by Cameron’s shudder he wasn’t interested. ‘It’s an excuse, I know, but I let her get to my head and I freaked out. I accused you of being like her when you’re not.’
He kisses her knuckles again, then shifts back a fraction so he can grab her other hand and cradle them both in his. ‘Jules, I’ve … After your text telling me you’d make your own way back from the conference, I raced to your room to try and stop you so I could tell you all of this then.’
Sparks of warmth ignite in her chest. He did?
‘But you weren’t there and I got lost in my anxiety. I’ve spent the past few days telling myself you deserve someone better than me, but I was only giving myself an excuse to keep running. Because I’m scared of being rejected again.’ His hands tremble, but his gaze is steady when he says, ‘Of being the only person to fall in love in a relationship.’
Jules freezes. ‘In love?’
‘Yeah. Yes.’ He drops his forehead to rest against hers. ‘I want the chance to love you, Jules. I’ve been fighting the feeling for a while but I don’t want to anymore. I can’t. Because I feel too much for you.’
Jules can barely breathe, let alone form words. Every breath is shallow and her hands feel limp in Cameron’s. Is she having an out of body experience? No. She’s entirely present. Can feel the warmth from his hands, the thud of her pulse in her neck and fingertips, the breath filling her lungs on shallow inhalations, the puff of his breath over her lips, the way his hair tickles her forehead. The way her heart is growing bigger inside her, filling with love.
‘So that’s … what’s been going on.’ Cameron pulls away, nose gliding over her cheek as he does. ‘And now that you know everything, the decision about us is up to you.’
‘What decision?’
‘I want to date you, Jules. Properly. Romantically. I want to romance you and I want the chance to prove I’ll never run away again.’ He runs a hand gently over her hair. ‘But only if you still want me.’
He goes to drop her hand but she holds on tight. ‘Shouldn’t it be up to us? If there is an us. Do you want there to be an us?’
‘I said I want the chance to fall in love with you.’
‘Is that a yes?’
He smiles, wide enough his dimples come out. ‘Yes. Always.’
‘I want an us too.’ Jules closes the distance between them and slides her hands up his arms until they’re resting at his neck. She stares into his eyes, which are swimming with hope. She smiles. ‘Because I want the chance to fall in love with you.’
Cameron makes a sound of relief in the back of his throat and with barely a second’s warning, Jules is wrapped in his arms. He pulls her tight to his chest and her arms wrap around his torso. He smells like Cameron. Like spearmint and coffee.
‘I’m so sorry,’ he says against her temple, voice thick. ‘I did exactly what your ex did. What I always do. I ran.’
‘Not exactly like my ex.’ Jules squeezes him tighter, trying to imprint his body and his warmth and his presence. ‘You came back.’
He pulls back and brushes her hair behind her ear, smiling softly. ‘I’ll always come back to you. Even if I get scared and try to run again, I’ll come back.’
The butterflies take flight at that, travelling through her chest and abdomen. His eyes hold nothing but earnest promise.
‘Maybe you can try skipping the running part?’ Jules says. ‘This past week hasn’t been fun.’
‘For me either. And I’m so fucking sorry.’ He cradles her face, like he had in bed the other night, before things got derailed. ‘So sorry. I don’t—’ He swallows and presses a quick kiss to her nose. ‘Okay, then. No running.’
‘Next time, we can try talking first.’
‘Sounds good. But I’m talked out tonight.’
