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I half smiled, trying to keep my nerves in check, the hair continuing to stand up on the back of my neck. Los Angeles. Raphael. Memories of the younger brother popped into my mind. I’d met him a couple of times, the asshole just as charming and brutal as his brother. What was I going to do? He’d found me. It couldn’t be a coincidence. But if the brother was dead, did that mean Sabatino had killed him? I was rattled to the core, barely able to think clearly. Was running even an option? Where would I go? Was there any place on earth where I’d be safe? “I’ll take you up on that pizza later.”
My voice was already shaky, my pulse increasing. I scanned the area, the creepy crawlies growing with every second. Oh, God. Oh, God. What could I do? I had to take several deep breaths to keep from panicking.
Breathe and think. Maybe it is a coincidence.
“Awesome. Come by the booth before you guys leave.”
“Yeah, I will.” As soon as she left, I folded my arms. The whole thing was just a coincidence. It had to be.
Or as I’d told Sabatino. It was the beginning of a new nightmare.
“Mama. Can we do rides now?”
After taking several deep breaths, I turned around, bursting into laughter. “You are a mess, little man. A sticky mess. We need to get you cleaned up.” In two minutes flat, he managed to get the cotton candy all over him. As I took his hand, leading him to one of the restrooms, I thought about the conversation I’d had with Sabatino. No, a man like him would never try something so sickeningly sweet.
Dillon jabbered away as I took him into the ladies’ room, allowing me to wash his hands and face. All the while I couldn’t get rid of the terrible feeling that the past was about to crash down on me, the tingling sensations not the kind anyone would ever want to experience. “All better.” I crouched down, tousling his hair. “Come on, little man. We have some rides to conquer.”
He threw his arms around my neck, kissing my cheek as he always did when he was at his happiest. That tug in my heart was heavier today, the need to keep him safe weighing heavily on my mind. As I led him outside by the hand, another strange set of feelings crept over me, ones of malevolence. I shielded my eyes as we headed toward the rides. It almost felt as if the devil himself was going to appear from the shadows, dragging me straight to hell as punishment.
“What would you like to ride?”
“Dunno.”
“How about the teacups?” I pointed to the cups painted in some of his favorite colors only a hundred yards away.
“Yay!” He tried to pull away from me, but I wouldn’t allow it, trotting along behind him as he led the way.
I couldn’t escape the wave of nausea or the terrible premonition that something was about to happen. While I was well aware I couldn’t live my life in fear, I also couldn’t avoid the anxiety. It remained a part of me. However, I wasn’t going to allow them to spoil the moment. My son deserved better than a broken-down mother.
“Come on, baby. Let’s pick the best one.”
He giggled the entire time that we stood in line, jumping up and down from joy. His reaction reminded me of just how much we’d missed over the years. Birthday parties. Holiday events. Other carnivals. I was keenly aware he was growing into a young man right before my eyes. As soon as we were at the front of the line, I couldn’t keep my kid from racing toward the purple cup.
“Come on, little man. Let’s get you on this ride.” It was impossible not to smile given his dead set intentions on doing so many things himself. I could already tell he was going to be a heartbreaker when he grew up. A sudden wave of sadness washed over me as I thought about how many times I’d prayed that he wouldn’t turn out like his father. As the attendant walked around making certain everyone was strapped in, I wrapped my arm around Dillon.
It had taken a stranger to remind me that powerful men didn’t like to lose. My only saving grace was that Rico had had no idea I was pregnant before I’d left.
I prayed to God that would protect us both.
As the ride started, Dillon squealed, the cup spinning in one direction then the other, allowing me to catch a glimpse or the people hanging over the railing watching the ride. The same ominous feeling I’d had seconds before returned with a vengeance. I scanned the area, forced to whip my head around as the ride picked up momentum.
There. What was that?
I craned my neck, sucking in my breath as the cup spun in the opposite direction and away from where I was certain a man stood watching us. He was wearing a suit and dark sunglasses, the choice of attire causing him to stand out like a sore thumb. By the time the ride turned again, the man had disappeared. Was I so overwrought that my mind had invented a bad man?
It was possible.
I shivered even in the mild day, the sensations refusing to fade away. While I’d only seen a portion of the man’s face, so much hidden by his dark shades, there was no doubt he’d been watching me, waiting for me.
Don’t lose it, girl. You can’t be certain.
“Mommy! Fun.”
Shaken, I gripped the bar keeping us safely tucked away on the ride, fighting the inner demons with everything I had. As the ride started to slow, I was relieved, wanting nothing more than to run to my car, escaping the fear.
“Mommy. Can we ride de horses?”
How could I deny my son a fun afternoon because his mother was too petrified to live? I felt sick inside, a little wobbly as the ride finally came to a stop. “Okay, baby, but just a couple more rides.”
