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‘Oh, God, no wonder you didn’t want me to know about him!’ Hope shuffled across the covers so she could rest her head on her mother’s shoulder. ‘I should never have pushed you into telling me.’
‘I tried to save you both, but I couldn’t. My Ben, my poor baby,’ her mother said between sobs, breaking Hope’s heart into a million pieces. To have been far enough along to have thought about names and to lose a child in such terrible circumstances? It was beyond Hope’s scope of comprehension.
Sitting up, Hope gathered her mother into her arms, reversing their roles as she rocked her gently and did her best to offer the comfort she’d been lucky enough to be able to rely upon every day. ‘Shh, it’s all right, Mum. Don’t cry, it’s all right.’ Eventually, the desperate tears subsided and her mother’s breathing settled into a deep, regular pattern. Hope eased her mother gently down upon the pillows and with a little bit of effort managed to get the quilt out from under them both and tucked her mother in. Rolling onto her side, Hope closed her aching eyes and settled in for a long, sleepless night.
Perhaps some things were best left in the past.
* * *
Feeling like she’d barely had a wink of sleep, though she was sure she’d dropped off for an hour or two at some point, Hope slid quietly from her bed at the first sign of light creeping through the crack in her curtains. Her mother didn’t stir, so Hope gathered her clothes as quietly as she could and tiptoed down the hall to shower and change.
The hot water made her feel slightly more human, and as she wove her hair into a loose plait, she tried to push aside the ghosts of the past and focus on her task for the day. She owed both Cameron and Barnie an apology for having to sit through what came as close to a family argument amongst the Travers as they ever had the previous evening. She hadn’t missed the way both of them had tried to salvage the situation and she could only imagine how embarrassing it must’ve been to witness. God knows she was cringing at the thought of addressing the matter with them. Best to tackle it head on and get it over with and then she could give them both the attention they deserved after being so good as to give up their weekends to help her.
Her positive attitude lasted about as long as it took to get down the stairs, where she found Aunt Rowena hovering by the kettle, looking pensive. ‘Oh, Hope, I thought I heard you up and about! Have you seen your mother? I popped my head in to see if she wanted a cup of tea, but her bed looks like it hasn’t been slept in.’
Hope gathered her aunt in for a reassuring hug. ‘She slept in my room last night.’
Aunt Rowena stepped back and stared up at Hope. ‘Is everything okay? Is she poorly? Are you?’
‘We’re both okay, well, physically at least.’ She sighed. ‘We had a long talk last night about what happened with my…’ She hesitated over the word father because she didn’t want to have any connection with someone capable of the terrible things he’d done to her mother. A father was someone who picked you up and kissed the grazes on your knees, who checked under the bed when you were frightened of the monsters under it, who pushed you that bit too high on the swings until you screamed in equal parts fear and delight. Ziggy. Zap. They were what fathers were, even if Ziggy had never had a child of his own. Hope had everything she needed in the two of them and she wouldn’t give credit to the man who gave her half her genetic material. ‘She told me about what happened when she moved to London,’ Hope settled on, trusting her aunt to understand. ‘And why she left.’
Rowena’s expression crumpled in sadness and understanding. ‘Such a sad time, but, for all that hurt and pain, your mother ended up with you, and you are her greatest joy.’
Hope hesitated, wondering if she should mention the thing that was most playing on her mind. Her mother and Rowena were as close as blood sisters and she was already married to Zap by the time her mother must have returned home. Hope doubted there were any secrets between the two women. ‘She told me about Ben, as well. I feel so bad for her.’
‘She told you about Ben?’
Aunt Rowena sounded so shocked that Hope found herself going on the defensive. ‘Why wouldn’t she? I’m not a child, I can deal with the emotional fallout of the fact Mum had a miscarriage and I’ll give her all the support she needs to finally come to terms with it. She’s held all these secrets in so long because she was trying to protect me, and that’s not fair on her. She was so upset last night, Ro. It was absolutely heart-breaking.’
‘Yes, yes, of course.’ Seeming to have recovered from her shock, Aunt Rowena opened her arms. ‘And what about you, my darling? This must’ve been all very upsetting for you too.’
Hope moved into the familiar, comforting warmth of her aunt’s embrace. ‘I knew it must be something awful, that he must be something awful for her to have avoided telling me for so long.’ Again, she resolved she would have nothing to do with the man who had caused such pain. ‘Perhaps I should’ve left well alone.’
Rowena squeezed her tight. ‘You have every right to ask those questions and I know Stevie has wrestled with herself over when to talk to you and how much you needed to know.’
Hope hugged her back. ‘I know what’s important and that’s Mum, you and the rest of this family. I have everything I need right here under this roof.’
‘That’s my girl.’ Rowena pressed a kiss to her cheek, then let her go. ‘I’m not sure you quite have everything you need, though. There’s the matter of a certain tall, blond and bookishly handsome archaeologist. He might be on the quiet side, but phew!’ Rowena fanned a hand in front of her face, her eyes dancing with laughter. ‘The way I caught him looking at you a couple of times last night. All I can say is that still waters run deep with that one!’
‘Stop it!’ Hope could already feel the heat rising on her throat at the idea that Cam might have been looking at her with interest. ‘He’s here to do a job, that’s all. Besides, it wouldn’t be appropriate.’
Her aunt made a rude noise to show what she thought of that. ‘All work and no play makes Hope a very dull girl. You are in the prime of your life, darling, you should be out there having fun, not worrying over balance sheets and monthly accounts.’
‘You make me sound so boring,’ Hope protested.
‘Not boring, just a bit single-minded in your focus, that’s all. I know how hard you work at the distillery because Zap tells me almost every day that he wouldn’t know where he’d be without you. And I know Ziggy relies on you more and more as well.’ Stepping forward, Rowena cupped her cheek. ‘You are incredibly capable, you and my Rhys, both, but I worry about how much the pair of you are taking on.’
As her hand fell away, Hope reached for it, grasped it tight and smiled. ‘We’re fine, Ro. It’s lovely of you to worry, but you don’t need to.’
Rowena frowned for a long moment before she shook her head. ‘As if you’re going to listen to what I have to say! You’ve always known your own mind, ever since you were a little tot running around the place. Still, you can humour an old woman and pretend to pay attention when I tell you that Dr Ferguson has taken quite a shine to you, so if you’ve got even an inkling of the same kind of attraction towards him, you should make the most of the opportunity. Intelligent, handsome, kind men like that don’t grow on trees, you know.’
Hope grinned. ‘I’ll take it under advisement.’
12
Cameron was just rinsing his breakfast plate under the tap when the sound of a dog barking warned him of Hope’s impending arrival. Grabbing a tea towel, he quickly dried off the plate and his hands then refilled the water tank on the coffee machine beside the sink. The patio doors were already pushed wide to let in the cool early-morning air. According to the weather app on his phone, they were in for another scorching day. The way things were going, it was looking like it would be one of those long, hot summers that led to hosepipe bans and crowded beaches.
He’d never been one for lazing around in the sun, but for all the trouble a dry spell brought to farmers and gardeners proud of their pristine lawns, it could be a great aid to archaeologists. As the ground dried out, lost treasures could sometimes be revealed. He remembered a summer about five years previously when records had been set and all sorts of wonders had been visible from above. Long-forgotten prehistoric barrows, the ghost outlines of Roman villas and lost Tudor ornamental gardens, the land had given up its secrets. The eager patter of claws on the wooden planks of the decking stirred Cam from his thoughts and he hurried across the cool tiles of the living room area just in time to bend and greet Sooty and Sweep.
