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The sudden urge to cry caught in Piper’s throat. This felt so much like what her mother would do. Like a deep discussion was on the rise in the same way Paisley used to meet Piper eye to eye when she was disappointed in her. As a grown-ass woman, Piper could stand up to the two mother figures in her life easily enough, but the knowledge that she would never again get to sit down with her mother to work out her problems was a cold slap to the face.
“Frankly, Piper, you have been dating the absolute scum of the earth,” Talia said bluntly.
Piper’s eyes blew wide. “What? I—”
“Don’t interrupt,” Amala cut Piper off with a raise of her hand before she could give a rebuttal.
“As someone who loves you, I’m no longer comfortable supporting you when you date people who are beneath you.” Talia crossed her arms over her chest.
“You’re mad that I slept with Leo?” Piper balked. Whatever she was expecting, it hadn’t been this.
“Leo?” Amala scoffed. “No. We adore his family, and I can’t imagine that his parents would ever raise someone as awful as you seem to think he is.”
“Every other person you’ve dated? Yes,” Talia said. “I know you, and I know that you didn’t even like them. You barely mentioned Todd when I came down after your breakup. You didn’t care, so I can’t for the life of me figure out why you do this. Is it that you don’t know your worth? Do you need someone to tell you what you’re worth? Because I will.”
“We will,” Amala chimed in.
“I—” Piper swallowed and felt her face go hot as tears started to crest her eyes and fall down her face. “I don’t know.”
“Why is it that Leo seems to make you feel something, and that’s when you decide you don’t want to take things further?” Talia asked. Her voice was still stern, but her face had softened a bit.
“I don’t like the way he makes me feel, okay?” Piper wiped frantically at her face.
“And how is that?” Amala’s eyebrows rose.
“Out of control!” Piper yelled. “I can’t control my emotions around him. Usually, I’m pissed because he’s being a jerk, but on the way here, when the tire popped, I couldn’t even stop myself from sobbing about my dead fucking parents in front of him. So, no. I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who makes me feel like that.”
“Oh, honey,” Amala whispered, her face twisting into sadness.
“Piper.” Talia’s nose twitched like she was going to cry, too. “It’s not wrong to feel.”
“It is, the way I do it,” Piper murmured and let her face go cold and emotionless. “It consumes me when I let it. So I don’t let it. I will never again be that sixteen-year-old girl who was so sad she could barely breathe.”
“You’re too hard on yourself.” Talia shook her head. “You suffered a huge loss, Piper. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes. I’d even wager that it’s healthy. You are so much like your uncle. I don’t even know how I didn’t realize just how much pressure you put on yourself to be strong when you don’t have to be.”
“It’s been years, Talia. It’s time for me to stop wallowing. I don’t want to invite more pain into my life. My dream is gone, but I can make other people’s dreams happen for them. I can support other people. I don’t need that for myself.” Piper calmly got up from her seat, steeling herself as she tucked her hair behind her ears.
“You can have a new dream, Piper.” Talia swallowed, and a single tear tracked down her face. She was holding onto Amala’s hand like she needed strength for the conversation.
“I have what’s left of my family, and that’s good enough. I don’t need more people.” The bitterness of her own voice caught Piper off guard. The little girl hiding in the back corner of her mind screamed that Piper was a liar, but at that point, the voice was just screaming into an empty void.
“Closing yourself off from new people and new dreams doesn’t make you strong, Piper,” Amala said. “It makes you scared.”
“I’d rather be scared forever than desolate,” Piper whispered and pointed to the door, hoping they’d leave. “I’m sorry if that makes you both disappointed in me. I’m going to take a nap now.”
“Piper,” Talia croaked.
“I love you, but I’m tired,” Piper replied. “I barely got any sleep, so I’m gonna rest. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” She could see every fraught crease on the faces of the two women who were as close as she’d ever get to having a mom again, but as much as she knew they cared, they were wrong.
“We love you. All of you,” Talia said, Amala nodding solemnly beside her. “Even the broken parts. I know, despite never getting to meet them, that your parents would not want this for you. This is not over. Have a good nap.”
The door swung open, and the two women stepped through, giving Piper silent but sad looks as they left, Amala shutting the door behind them. It took Piper a while to do anything but stand there, staring at where they’d left, and when she finally moved, it was only to crawl into her bed, still wearing Leo’s hoodie. She pulled her knees into her chest and let one last tear fall before she swiped it away and closed her eyes to dream. The one place she allowed herself to play out a life she would never have. The one place where that little girl she had closed herself off to wasn’t scared or hardened to loss.
Thirty
LEO
Piper 7:23 PM
