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“I know. I know. We can go as soon as we find Kennedy.” I met my son’s eyes, still red but no longer full of tears. “Maybe she’s in the waiting room.”
We headed that way, but when she wasn’t there either, I checked down the hall to the bathrooms and waited for a minute. Then I asked the receptionist if she’d seen Kennedy.
“She’s short with long brown hair. Had on a white coat and big black purse…came in with us.”
The receptionist nodded. “She ran out of here a few minutes ago, crying.”
I winced, motioning to Finn. “He had to get a few staples.”
She offered a smile of understanding. “Yeah. Sometimes moms are more upset about their kids’ injuries than the kids are.”
I didn’t correct her. I didn’t tell her that Kennedy wasn’t Finn’s mom. Biologically, she wasn’t, but I knew Finn loved her just as much as he loved Tessa. And I knew Kennedy loved him right back. She didn’t have to tell me. I witnessed it every day.
Kennedy was Finn’s mom in every way that counted.
And what a gift that was for my son. To have two women in his life who loved him more than anything.
I carried Finn out to where I’d parked my car, but Kennedy’s silver Volvo wasn’t next to mine. It wasn’t anywhere. I buckled Finn into his seat then got behind the wheel, dialing her number. She didn’t answer, so I hung up and immediately tried again.
“Come on,” I mumbled into the mouthpiece of my cell phone. “Why aren’t you picking up?”
I hoped she was okay.
“Quirt!”
I eyed my kid in the rearview mirror. He didn’t appear at all like he’d just had six staples put into his head. “I know. I’m trying to find out where Kennedy is so we can get you ice cream. I need you to stop kicking at my seat.”
He picked at goldfish that he’d found in his cupholder, and I rolled my eyes, trying her one last time. When she didn’t answer, I left a voice mail message. “Hey, it’s me. Where are you? I’m nervous that you’re not answering your phone. I hope you’re okay. Please call me back. I’m taking Finn for ice cream, but I need… I’m feeling really anxious. First with Finn, and now I don’t know where you are. Call me.”
Even though it was the middle of winter, I bought Finn the biggest sundae the place had with extra whipped cream and sprinkles. He ate all of the whipped cream and left me the ice cream, which I shoveled down my throat from stress.
I kept my phone next to me the whole time, but it had yet to ring, so I bundled Finn back up, tucked him into the car, and drove home as fast as possible to see Kennedy. But all the lights were off, and when I opened the front door, there was no sign that she was home. The pillows were still on the floor, along with a giant red stain on the carpet.
“Kennedy! You home?”
Finn ran to the kitchen, wriggling out of his coat on the way, and I followed him to be sure she wasn’t upstairs anywhere.
Uncertainty simmered inside me.
Where was she?
Why wasn’t she here?
Where the hell would she have gone?
She wouldn’t have left Finn alone after what had happened. And I couldn’t imagine her wanting to leave me to deal with the fallout by myself.
Would she?
Settling down, I cleaned up Finn as best I could then made him some toast and let him play on the iPad for a while as I scrubbed at the stain in the living room, spraying spot remover on the dried blood. Though, at this point, I thought I’d rather rip the whole goddamn carpet out.
When I finished, the spot was still pink, and I was exhausted and irritated, incapable of pretending like everything was fine when it wasn’t.
Kennedy wouldn’t disappear on me. Something had to be wrong. A car accident. A seizure.Fuck. A seizure.
Falling onto my butt, I called her phone number again, knowing I’d get her voice mail. “I need to know you’re okay. Call me. Or text me. Or I’m going to start calling around. I don’t know your sister’s number, but I’ll find it. Get Nate to give me Dean’s. I’m worried.”
I stabbed the red button with my thumb and tossed my phone on the coffee table. It was almost Finn’s bedtime, but at this point, I didn’t even care. I didn’t have the heart to make him sleep alone. Even if he wanted to,Ididn’t want him to sleep by himself. He could stay in my bed. Preferably between me and Kennedy.
