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As I pull away, I add, “By the way, I took a test today.”
His expression changes before he winces. “Fuck, Briar. I completely forgot. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I reply, rubbing his shoulder and acting like it’s not a big deal. “It was negative, of course.”
“Why didn’t you wait for me?” he asks with sympathy on his face.
I just shrug in response. Because I hate his disappointment, I think. Because we are incapable of relying on each other for some reason. Because if I take the test alone, then I don’t have to act devastated by the results.
Instead of saying any of that, I just force a grin. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
I watch the muscles in his jaw tic as he clenches his teeth and swallows, fighting off emotion.
Solemnly, he replies, “I know.”
Seven
Dean
14 years old
As the lights of the theater dim, I set my elbow on the armrest between Isaac and me.
He bumps mine off and replaces it with his own. “Don’t even think about it,” he mutters, and I stifle a smile.
There’s an empty seat on his other side where his brother will be sitting once he gets back from getting popcorn.
“Did you talk to him?” I whisper as the first credit starts playing.
Isaac glances toward me and then down to his lap. “No. It’s a stupid idea.”
“No, it’s not,” I argue. “He’ll totally have your back.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Isaac says under his breath.
“Yes, it does.” My voice grows louder, and I notice a couple in front of us glance our way, so I shrink down in my seat.
“You wouldn’t understand, Dean,” he murmurs. “So just drop it.”
My teeth grind as my brows pinch together. I should tell him that I do understand. The only part I don’t get is why he’s bending over backward for a family that can’t love him and accept him the way he is.
Just then, I spot his brother climbing the stairs toward our seats.
“Here,” Caleb says as he places the bucket on his brother’s lap. “You’re in the middle, so you have to hold it.”
“Thanks,” he mutters with his eyes on the movie screen.
“What’s wrong with you?” Caleb asks before glancing at me as if I’m to blame.
I shrug in response.
“I’m trying to watch the previews,” Isaac whispers angrily.
When Caleb offers me a comforting smile, I try to let the whole thing roll off my shoulders. I want to press the topic some more, but Isaac is too scared to even try.
Out of his whole family, his brother, Caleb, seems like the most down to earth. He hangs out with us a lot now. He’s even made subtle comments that make me think he’d be cool with it.
At some point, Isaac is going to have to come out. I just figure his brother seems like the best person to come out to.
