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“When did you get here?” I ask, walking over to the couch with a smile.
He holds out his hand, and when I accept it, he tugs me down on top of him. “I knew you were putting her to bed, so I snuck in.” He drops the remote on the coffee table and his warm arms wrap around me. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
He quirks an eyebrow. “Tell me about the book. How’s it going? You seem like you’ve really hit your stride.”
I don’t want to talk about the book. Lately, I’ve realized how similar the story is to Hudson’s and my own. It’s embarrassing, and I’m not sure how he’ll handle it. I know I have to talk to him about it. Especially before it’s published, if it’s published—my editor may say it sucks.
“How were your lessons?” I change the subject.
From the small shake of his head, he knows what I’m doing. He slides so his back is pressed against the back of the couch, and I lie on my side. His fingers tease the patch of skin above my waist. “Fine. The usual whiny kids and grown adults on holiday.”
I laugh, remembering the stories he’s told me about adults being worse than the kids. “Do you ever wish?—”
He places his fingers over my lips to silence me. I’ve asked him this same question a million times, and he never wants to answer me.
“Hudson?”
His body sinks into the cushion. “I would never trade this life.” Placing a hand on my hip, he sits up on the end of the couch. “I’m not gonna lie and say Matt being here hasn’t conjured up some ‘what-if’ thoughts.”
I sit up and bring my knees up to my chest. “Yeah?”
He slides closer, tugging my arms from around my legs. “But this, us, our family, is number one.”
“You could do the halfpipe,” I say.
The day I found out I was pregnant was the last day he ever did a run on the halfpipe.
“Never. We both know how dangerous it is.”
During that year and few months that we hung out before we came to Lake Starlight, I did witness a lot of injuries among the guys he hung around.
“But—”
“Will you please stop?” He cradles my face with his hands. “I’m exactly where I want to be. End of discussion.”
He kisses me, and I lose my train of thought. Everything else evaporates. I lower my legs, and he leans his back along the couch, bringing me over his lap so I’m straddling him. Our tongues tangle and a fluttery sensation ghosts across my skin. A low whine squeaks out of me when he ends the kiss.
“This is so much better than trying some hard-ass trick on a halfpipe.”
“You always say the best things.” I grin at him.
“Only to you.” He leans forward and places his lips on mine again.
I wish I didn’t always think I took him away from his future. I wouldn’t trade Adley for anything, but I’m living my dream as a writer. When I hear him complain, I feel guilty. And if I have him, then I have everything a girl could want.
Hudson strips his lips from mine and gives me a look as if to say, get out of your head, we’re making out here.
“I’m sorry.”
He sighs. “When will you believe me?”
“I do. I mean, I know how much you love Adley.” And I do know it. That’s the truth.
He leans back and locks eyes with me. I look to my right, feeling a tad vulnerable. He lightly grasps my chin and brings me to face him again. “And I love you. I’m not sure you understand how happy this has all made me. I’ve waited a long time to get this chance with you, Palmer. I want a future with you and not as the co-parent of our daughter. Sure, I pushed away my feelings a long time ago, thinking you might never get there.”
“She comes first,” I say for what feels like the millionth time since we found out about her.
