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After a few more minutes, Tori pulled away more fully and wiped her eyes. “I’m still so worried that I won’t be able to stop resenting you; that I’ll never understand why Willow decided to tell you instead of me. I obviously know how much you meant to her, but it still hurts.”
“I get that. I really do.” I took both of Tori’s hands in mine and squeezed them tightly. “But you need to understand that Willow loved you more than anything or anyone in this world, Tori. Seriously. She was so proud to be your friend. You should have seen the way her eyes lit up anytime she talked about you. But I think the difference between you and I was that she knew you before she learned about any of this. I’m honestly not sure if this will make it better or worse, but Willow told me about this on the first day she met me. I guarantee you it wasn’t because she trusted or valued a random stranger more than you. I think she was desperate to tell someone, and it was easier to tell a person she hadn’t established a relationship with yet. That way, things couldn’t change between us. The reason she didn’t tell you was because she valued your relationship so much. If things had changed, even the slightest bit, it would have broken her heart.”
“But wouldn’t it have only changed things for the better? I would have tried harder. I would have been a better friend.”
“You were a great friend to her. Never doubt that. It’s why she loved you so much. You thought you had forever with her, but you still valued every moment you had together.”
Tori nodded as more tears fell from her eyes. “I really did. It didn’t take Willow dying to realize how important she was. I always knew.”
“Exactly. Because that’s the kind of person you are, and that’s why, even though I tried to fight it with all of my might, I couldn’t help but fall in love with you.” I kicked my foot against Tori’s as I continued to hold her hands. “Also, I’ve said this a million times, but it looks like I need to say it a million and one—you are the best mom in the entire world. Bella is so lucky to have you. So is Emery.”
“Do you really mean it?”
I nodded furiously. How could she doubt that at all? How did this amazing woman not see what I saw? “Of course I do.”
Tori laughed and wiped at her eyes once again. “I guess I can’t be too mad at Willow. You were right. I wouldn’t have gone to Vegas if I knew what was coming, and I can’t imagine if I didn’t. Bella is my whole world. Along with you and Emery, of course.”
“I know. We’re a family.”
“Family.” Tori’s face lit up as if the sun was rising behind her smile. Except not, because she was more beautiful than the most perfect sunrise.
I removed my hands from Tori’s and put an arm around her waist, pulling her close to me and leaning my head on her shoulder. “Let’s go get our daughters. I’m in need of some much overdue family time with my three favorite people.” I hesitated for a moment because I realized Tori hadn’t actually said whether or not things were okay with us. “That is, if that’s what you want.”
I held my breath as I waited for Tori’s answer, but luckily, she didn’t leave me breathless for long. “Of course that’s what I want. It might take me a while to be able to fully wrap my head around this, and I can’t guarantee that I won’t ever let my emotions get the best of me and get angry about it again, but I can’t live without you. I want to wake up next to you every morning and fall asleep next to you every night. I don’t want to waste a moment of our time together, because we don’t know how much we have. I’m going to love you as if every day is my last day with you.”
“Good, because I plan to do the exact same.”
The sun set behind me as we stood together in front of Willow’s grave, and as a warm breeze tickled my skin, I had no question that this was exactly where I was supposed to be.
Epilogue
It’s been exactly two years since I first kissed Tori, and I still get butterflies every time I look at her. Both of us continue to miss Willow every single day. We miss her laugh. We miss her zest for life. But we have no question that she is here with us. We see her when we watch our daughters play together. We hear her in the way they laugh. We even feel her in the love we have for each other.
After wrangling our daughters, we all gather around the big framed picture above the fireplace. A lot has changed since this house officially became Tori and Bella’s as well, but this spot will always remain the same. I take in the picture of Willow—how her head is thrown back while she laughs at something I can no longer remember. It’s so very Willow, it makes me smile every time I look at it. I run my fingers along the words inscribed on the frame—“Live Like Willow.” Then I place my hand into Tori’s, close my eyes, and take a deep breath.
I think about the last words Willow and I said to each other. Some people never get their great love story. I was lucky enough to have two. I lived one Happily Ever After with Willow and now I am living another Happily Ever After with Tori. I’ve learned that loving Tori doesn’t mean that I love Willow any less. It just means that I was able to keep living a life that was taken from Willow much too soon. I owe it to her to get up every day and live my life with a smile on my face and a happy heart. Tori gives me both of those things and so much more.
I squeeze Tori’s hand and lay my head on her shoulder. “We love you, Willow,” I whisper.
“Miss you every day,” Tori adds before placing a kiss on top of my head.
We stay like this for a moment, then Tori drops my hand so she can lift up Emery then Bella so each of them can kiss the picture.
Emery leans against my side and says, “Love you, Mommy.”
I look over and Bella is leaning against Tori in the same way. We naturally lean into each other and let the moment overtake us once again.
Soon, we will meet up with the rest of our friends and family to celebrate Willow’s life and the difference she made in all of our lives, but this moment right here is reserved for the people who hold the biggest place in my heart—the ones who kept me breathing when I didn’t think I could.
Our life isn’t perfect. The four of us fight. We cry. We miss Willow endlessly. But thanks to her, we appreciate every moment—even the hard ones or the most mundane. We kiss after every fight. We dry each other’s tears. We make sure that no matter what, we never stop living.
Live like Willow
