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James took that as his cue to leave. “I’ll let you two catch up. See you onboard.” He gave Audrey a firm kiss and a hug, then fled the bridal magazine bonanza.
Audrey and I hunkered down in two seats, spreading the glossy magazines between us. We had serious business to attend to. “I’m so glad you asked me to go on this trip,” I admitted.
“Me too, Jenny. I’m glad it worked out.” She glanced over at Cole, who was barking into his phone. “How’s it going?”
“It’s going,” I said. I snapped my fingers and pointed atBrides.“But we’ll talk about that later, all right? I’ve been waiting to pick wedding dresses with my BFF since I was a kid. And I’m not getting any younger!”
We spenta lot of time working our way through the magazines, dog-earing pages, and talking about strapless gowns versus backless ones. We boarded the plane, still engrossed in a conversation about color palettes. James and Cole wisely left us alone, sitting off by themselves so we could have an area to spread out. By the time the flight took off, Audrey’s skin was flushed, her eyes wide. She motioned to the pile of magazines before us. “I can’t believe this is real. I’m getting married.”
I squeezed her hand. “I can,” I said. “I knew it all along—you were always going to get your happily ever after. Nobody deserves it more than you.”
Audrey turned to me. “Thank you, Jenny. It’s all a whirlwind, but that’s not what I’m currently worried about.”
Uh-oh.I knew my friend would get around to it eventually. “You shouldn’t be worried about anything,” I said, keeping my voice light. “You should just be happy.”
“Iamhappy. But I’m also worried about you. “
“I seem to be doing okay for myself. Cole took me out on hissuper-yacht yesterday,” I shared.
Audrey’s eyebrow shot up. “What’s a super yacht?”
“It’s a yacht. Just, like, asuperone.” I tossed my hair. “I don’t know what makes it so super, but we took him out for a whale watch. It was pretty incredible.”
“It sounds nice,” she said lightly. “It sounds like you two are having fun. Are you relieved that you guys made up?”
“Colehiredme to come back,” I corrected her. I needed to keep up the appearance that the arrangement was strictly business. I leaned closer to her and whispered, “And he’s paying me a million dollars.”
Audrey and I just looked at each other for a beat. “Holy smokes,” she said eventually.
“Right?” I asked. “So you might not believe that you’re getting married, but Ireallycan’t believe I’m about to be a millionaire.”
“I’m happy for you—that’s life-changing money. But I guess I’m still worried, too.” Audrey took a deep breath. “Because I didn’t think you only cared about Cole’s super yacht. Or about the money.”
“I don’t only care about his yacht or the money,” I admitted. “But it might be better if I did.”
“I thought you were in love with Cole,” she said quietly. “That’s what you told me, that you wanted to be with him. So what happened? I know he hired you back, but why did you leave in the first place?”
I shrugged. “Nothing. I mean, something. It’s just that I thought about it. We got back to Boston, and I realized that it wasn’t exactly a smart idea to be pinning all my hopes on a billionaire. I have to be okay with myself. I can’t depend on anybody. If I’ve learned one thing, I’ve learned that.”
Audrey went silent momentarily, contemplating the fluffy white clouds as we passed them. “You can depend on me. I’m always going to be here for you, Jenny. “
“I know that,” I said a little defensively. “That’s not what I’m talking about.”
Audrey gave me a sad smile. “Isn’t it, though? I know the feeling that you’re talking about. I get it. But at some point, you have to take a leap of faith. Otherwise, life is just kind of… sad.”
“Kind of sad is better than getting the crap kicked out of you,” I said. “Listen, don’t turn this around on me. I’m different from you. I know you and James are the real thing.”
“If you love each other, like I think you do, then you and Cole are a real thing, too,” Audrey said.
“We can’t be a real thing,” I said. I longed to tell Audrey about all the trouble I was in, but I couldn’t risk it. “I can’t feel safe with anybody,” I said instead. That was also the truth—another truth I didn’t care to discuss, but at least I wasn’t completely lying to my best friend.
“Why is that?” Audrey asked.
I grimaced. “Let’s not get all psychological. You know we all have our reasons, every single woman in the business. Mine aren’t any different.”
“I get it. I do.” Audrey hesitated, then said, “You know my mother is an alcoholic. I never had a father. I grew up roughand always had to look out for myself. I also had to look out for Tommy, which was hard because he needed help. My mother needed help. Everybody needed help.”She took a deep breath. “But I didn’t get to ask anybody for help because I had to be the one who kept it together. So it’s tough for me to trust that James wants to take care of me, you know? But I have to believe him. I have to take a chance. Otherwise, my whole life will be about pushing people away.”
Audrey didn’t say anything else. She was waiting for me to share; I knew that. In genuine relationships, you were honest. You showed people parts of yourself that you hid from the rest of the world.
