Page 29 of Scars on my Heart


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“Beth…it’s Iris,” I said, fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall.

“Iris?” The line went quiet for a moment. “Is everything alright?”

I didn’t know how to answer that. I felt like I was going to fall apart. I’d seen another man naked, one other than my dead husband, and I felt as if the world—my world—was falling apart.

“Iris?” she repeated, her voice growing serious.

“Please tell me you are away from the boys?”

“Oh yes, they are outside in the backyard. What’s wrong?”

I took in deep breath and blew out through my mouth, trying hard not to panic. “We um, I um…I walked in on Zach, and he was ummm…”

“Walked in on him, what? Iris, what is going on?”

“I walked in on him in the shower…. Masturbating,” I loudly whispered.

I heard nothing on the end of the phone except for a door slamming shut. “Oh my god, spill it,” Beth quietly shouted into the phone. “I thought you had separate rooms.”

“So did I. However, when we got here, there was a screwup with our reservation. Anyway, he came up here to get ready for dinner and um, well, I thought he was already gone when I returned to the room, so I got ready to have a shower, and well, when I pulled the curtain back on the shower, there he was…”

Beth let out a loud laugh.

“I’m glad you are enjoying my pain, but god, I want to die.”

“Oh, my god. Come on. Don’t panic. It’s just a penis.”

If Beth had seen it, she’d have known it wasn’t just a penis, but an amazing penis at that. Once again, the vision of him standing there stroking himself flashed before my eyes. His large hand wrapped tightly around himself, the muscles in his forearm flexing, his abs flexing as well, that deeply carved vee...

“Seriously, Iris, it was only a penis.”

“Stop saying that,” I said, swallowing hard as my sister continued to laugh. “It’s also, I too was naked. I’d stripped out of my clothes before opening the shower curtain and…”

Beth continued to laugh. I didn’t know whether I should hang up on my ever-so-supportive sister or continue telling her.

“Okay, big deal, so he may have seen you naked. Now what is it? Did you like what—”

“Don’t you dare even ask me that. He’s…we are supposed to be friends.”

“Uh-huh. Friends, that is right. If you were only friends, you wouldn’t be flipping out right now. Admit it, you like this guy.”

I looked outside through blurry eyes. “No, absolutely not. We are only friends,” I whispered.

“Iris, do yourself a favor. Do me a favor. Have a good time this weekend.”

Just then, I heard voices coming through the phone and instantly recognized Dylan and Noah talking in the background.

“Don’t let on it’s me,” I said. “I can’t talk to them this way. They will know something is wrong.”

“I’m not letting them talk to you. Go have fun. The next time you call, I want to hear all about your adventures tonight. Do you understand what I’m telling you? Let loose, enjoy yourself. Hell, enjoy him. Live a little, or a lot.”

I could imagine Beth standing there, a smile on her face.

“I’ll talk to you later,” I said.

“Have fun, sis. Seriously, enjoy that penis. I mean. Enjoy your time with your friend. Love you lots.”

I held my cell phone for a moment and then laughed at what Beth had said. She was right. Perhaps I needed to live a little. If Zach wasn’t embarrassed about it, why should I be? Only problem was, I was embarrassed by it.

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