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Bass’s food came and he picked at it as he sifted through the mounds of letters. He read some of the words and he’d never admit it, but he might’ve felt a little stinging in his eyes once or twice. The thought of never hearing Nana Bee’s words of wisdom again absolutely broke his heart. What were they all going to do without her? What was the rest of the world going to do without her? She’d saved so many kids during her life. Her legacy should live on. Death was so final.
He picked up another envelope and opened it . . . then stopped. This one wasn’t from him. It was from Ella. He quickly turned the envelope over and saw it was dated fourteen years ago. That would make Ella fifteen. He knew the right thing to do would be to stuff the letter back in the envelope and give it back to Ella. It was an invasion of her privacy to read what she had written.
He held it in his hands for several minutes as he picked at the food and popped some in his mouth without tasting it. He stared at the letter, telling himself he wasn’t going to unfold it. He failed.
“Screw it,” he muttered. “She told me to take the box. She gave no sign she was worried about possible letters from her in here.” Yep, he was talking to himself. But, hey, whatever eased his conscious to basically read a person’s diary. He assured himself it wasn’t a diary. There was nodo not enter or elseon the front of the card. She’d written it with the intent of it being read. Just because it wasn’t addressed to him didn’t mean it was for Nana Bee’s eyes only. Okay then, he was doing it.
He opened the letter and there was an old five-dollar bill inside that he didn’t understand. He looked at it for a minute and then he carefully placed it back in the envelope and started to read.
Dear Nana Bee,
I’m so sad here. My aunt is mean. She kind of looks like you with her pretty white hair so I thought she was going to be nice. She’s not. She yells at me a lot. I try to do what you tell me to do and write down my feelings and write down my plans for the future. My aunt tells me, though, that I don’t have a future. She says my dad’s a criminal and I’m no better. She also says my mom is garbage and left me and my dad behind because she couldn’t stand to look at us. She says she barely gets enough money to take care of me, but she’s not white trash so she won’t make me stay in a foster home. I heard foster homes aren’t that good, but surely they can’t be as bad as it is staying with her.
My cousin is two years older than me, and he’s super creepy. He tells me it’s a good thing I have a pretty face and boobs because that’s all that will help me in life. He says I’m stupid. I get good grades just like I promised you I’d get, but he says that’s because I have easy classes. He says there are fish in the sea with higher IQs than mine. I want to come and visit you, but my aunt says there’s no way that’s happening. She says you and the rest of the family hate me and don’t want me to talk to you.
If she knew I was writing you, she’d lock me in my room again. I spend a lot of time in here anyway. They don’t like me to sit with them in the family room. They say I’m not really family; I’m a mistake my mom should’ve taken care of. I’m thinking of running away. I love you, Nana Bee. I’m sorry if my family hurt you. I promise I didn’t know. I promise. When I get bigger, I’m going to make a lot of money and I’m going to pay you back every single dollar my dad took. Maybe then you will know I’m not a thief. I’m gonna start now. It's not much, but I mowed the neighbor’s lawn when I was home alone for the weekend. If they knew I made any money they’d take it from me for room and board, but they don’t know so I’m sending it to you.
Thank you for being nice to me always. I wish I was living with you. I understand why I’m not though. Please don’t forget me no matter what. I feel like if you know who I am then I’m real. If you didn’t know me, then maybe I’d just fade away into nothing. I’m sorry I’m complaining so much. I’ll stop. I love you.
Love always,
Ella
Bass was in shock as he read the words from fifteen-year-old Ella. His heart ached for her. He could only imagine the reply that had come in from Nana Bee, and he prayed she was able to intercept the letters.
He had no doubt Nana Bee would’ve assured her she loved her and her house was always open. Part of Bass was angry that the Palazzos hadn’t hired the best attorneys known to man and fought for Ella. She was clearly being abused, if not physically, then mentally. How had she grown into the woman she was living with an aunt who was so mean?
He no longer felt guilty as he lifted another letter from the box. He opened it and this time found a hundred-dollar bill inside.
Dear Nana Bee,
I graduate in two months. I don’t have invitations. My aunt said they are too expensive and she’s right. I don’t have anyone to send them to anyway except for you. I know you can’t come, and that’s okay. I’m going to come see you. Getting your letters has helped me survive here. I’m almost out. I received the full scholarship you told me to apply for, the Ford Foundation one. It covers almost all of my schooling. I wrote to them, telling my story. It was embarrassing, but if it gets me a degree and makes me earn more money, that’s all that matters. I believe what you told me: we don’t have to be our past. I’ll never be a victim again.
You have to stop telling me to stop sending money. It won’t happen. I might not have known what my father was doing, but I love you and I want to do this. It makes me proud to take care of the debt. I would send every dime I make to you, but I can only send what I can hide from my aunt. She charges a lot for room and board. But that’s okay because I won’t be here very much longer. I don’t know how much I’ll be able to work while going to school, but I promise I’ll work as much as I can.
Mr. Adams told me I’m one of the lucky ones with a near-photographic memory. That means I don’t have to study as long as a lot of other kids. As soon as I read something, it stays in my head. That’s why I was able to take so many college courses my senior year of high school.
Even though my aunt and uncle and cousin aren’t great people, my school counselor and several of my teachers are amazing. They remind me a lot of you actually. They are pretty fantastic. I’ve thought about being a counselor myself. It doesn’t pay well though, not until you become a psychiatrist, and I don’t have time to get a PhD.
Besides, there aren’t a lot of scholarships for Master and Doctorate degrees. I might do it later in life though. We’ll see what happens. I love you so much. Please don’t think you have to come to graduation. I know you’ll be with me in spirit. I’ll come see you the first day I move out of here. I can’t wait. I move into the student housing the last week of August. There are only a few months left. I love you. I love you. I love you. I don’t get to say that to anyone else, so I really like saying it to you. I mean it with all of my heart.
Love always,
Ella
Bass went from letter to letter, and he was horrified at what Ella was saying. There was no order to the letters, so they were from age thirteen, the same year she’d been taken to her aunt, to age nineteen. They were consistent. They stopped about the time she was twenty and Bass was assuming the correspondence continued through email. Nana Bee had really liked her iPad when she’d finally caved and allowed Rafe to buy her one. She loved to play solitaire on it more than anything else, but then she’d gotten into Facebook and truly enjoyed looking at all of the pictures of her loved ones.
Bass spent several hours reading all of the letters. He could almost hear Nana Bee’s replies to Ella. He asked himself several more times of how she’d managed to turn into the fine woman she was now. Now, he knew for sure that it was due to the faith of one woman in her life. If she hadn’t had that port in the storm he wasn’t sure how Ella would’ve turned out. For that matter, he knew he wouldn’t be where he was either.
As he thought more about it, he realized Nana Bee could never die. Her vision, and her love of helping children, had to live on. He wasn’t sure what they could do to make that happen, but he was determined to make it so. It was almost eleven at night and he knew he shouldn’t, but Bass reached for the phone.
Ella answered on the second ring, sounding fully awake.
“Bass, is everything okay?” was her greeting.
“I need to come over,” he told her.
There was a long pause. He waited. She finally spoke. “It’s really late, Bass. We can discuss whatever we need to tomorrow,” she told him.
