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I sit up all the way, leaning my back against the headboard. I feel for his T-shirt and clutch it to me and speak like I’m inside a Catholic confessional, like nothing I say can be held against me. That’s how those work, right? I’m not sure. Where’s the pope when you need him?
“Paige,” he prompts.
“Did you ... have you ...” It’s like I’ve got a tenuous grasp on the English language, like that little boy in the viral video asking, “Have you ever had a dream that, that, that you, um, you, could, you could do, you, you, um, you want, you want, you, you could do anything?”
That’s me.
“Do you sometimes think about the kiss we shared a few months ago?” I finally force it out. Then I press my face into his shirt, waiting for the inevitable heartbreaking comment that’s about to come.
He doesn’t answer within half a millisecond, so I immediately panic.
“Yeah, me neither!Good night!”
I lie flat again, roll over, and squeeze my eyes closed, praying with every fiber of my being that a sinkhole suddenly erupts beneath us and we go down in a crumbling heap of rubble. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? A nice big boulder, smack to the forehead.
Cole chuckles, and my eyes ping open.
“I can’t believe you’re even asking me that right now ...”
I frown, confused. “Because I should already know the answer?”
He sighs. “Paige ...yes, I think about it. I think about it all the time.”
I hold perfectly still. “Why?”
I know whyIthink about it. It’s my most frequented fantasy, the one I revisit every night, alone in my dorm. Never mind that I feel foolish doing it. I can’t give it up, no matter how hard I try.
He scoots closer. “Because every moment of my day is spent the same way. Hour after hour. Minute after minute. I want you, always.”
Holy hell.
That’s . . . that’s really something.
I repeat it all back to myself in my head, just to be sure I’ve got it right. There was no double entendre I was too stupid to pick up on the first time, right? No hidden meaning?
“But you never—”
“When would I—”
Oh my god.
I stare up at the dark ceiling as the numbness from the last few hours starts to lift, replaced by a delicious warmth.
“I think I’ve been blind,” I tell him.
“And I’ve been too shy ...”
It’s too late for me to rein in my elation. I’m a confetti cannon, ready to fire. I turn over and hurriedly reply, “You don’t have to be shy now. It’s just me in the dark.”
Me, the girl who’s loved you in quiet for months and months.
A heavy pause sends a frisson of fear through me. Things aren’t set in stone. My heart is still waiting on tenterhooks, hoping for the best. This could all go up in smoke.
Then I feel Cole shift on the bed, scooting even closer to me. I feel his heat before I feel him touch my arm. He drags his hand up until he reaches my neck, my face. Then he cups my cheek and turns my face so that I’m looking at him in the dark. What is he thinking? Where is he looking?
“Paige?”
His voice is the only thing I have to go by, and so I focus there. “Hmm?”
