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I had to agree with his assessment. It was true that I could have said something better, but it was correct in that way. Marilyn was the woman that I’d pushed away, so that she could have the life she had now. I know that what I did was right, but it didn’t mean that I had to like it or that I didn’t regret it every day. I would never say it out loud for another to hear, but if I could go back, I would have done so much differently, even if it was selfish. I would have kept Marilyn and never let her go.
“Yeah, I fucked that one up, Dale. Let’s get back to work.” I didn’t want to talk about my regrets anymore. I looked at the information he’d written down, and I looked forward to the meeting and proposal I was going to do at her place. I had so many questions, but I would rather find out for myself. She looked damn good, and that smile had drawn me in again.
The rest of the day and into the night, I tried to figure out what in the world was going on with Marilyn. I wondered why she was back and why she needed security. Dale hadn’t written enough down, not enough to answer all my questions, but I knew that I had enough to go off of. I thought of her job and her clients. It could be anyone she was trying to keep away from. I hoped that no matter what happened, we would be able to have a chat and a drink. I would like to catch up with her. I could imagine her staying in Coloma wasn’t going to last long, how could it? I was intrigued about everything that had to do with Marilyn.
The last thought I wondered to myself before I went to bed that night was the question of if there was a reason Marilyn was back. I wanted to believe that it was fate and destiny, but was it? Why did my hopes climb so high because of it?
The next morning, I went into town early to catch my friend Cliff at the diner. He knew all about Marilyn, and he was the one that was supposed to warn me she was back in town. He had always kept me abreast to what was going on with her. He had really dropped the ball.
When I saw him, I sat down across from him, and he had a big smile on his face. That smile faded when he saw the way that I was looking at him. I wasn’t too happy to see him. It was all his fault that Marilyn had caught me off guard. A little warning would have helped. I didn’t know what I would have done differently, but it would have been something.
“Why didn’t you tell me that she was back in town?”
Cliff sighed. “Hey, Hal, how are you? Good to see you, man. Been a while.”
I scoffed. “It hasn’t been that long. You know I’ve been busy. You could have called me and let me know.”
“I’ve been busy too. I just heard the news a couple of days ago. I figured that it has been so long, that maybe you wouldn’t care about it.”
I made a sound of displeasure. “You know damn well that I care.”
“Maybe I thought she was just going to be here and gone, then you wouldn’t have to worry about Marilyn at all. She messes with your head without even trying. Do you really think it’s a good idea to get wrapped up with her again?”
He had a point, but it wasn’t one that I could agree with. “Whether she is good for me or not doesn’t matter. I’ve thought about her since we broke up, and it’s hard not to feel something.”
That made Cliff sigh. His red hair was just as wild as his eyes. It was early, I felt like I wasn’t all the way up yet, but Cliff was coming off of his night shift at the factory. He was wired and ready to do about anything else but sleep.
“I always wondered what you saw in Marilyn. I mean, yeah, she is pretty, but she never was worth all the drama. You know that, right?”
I didn’t agree with him. Cliff had never been shy about how he felt about Marilyn. I couldn’t even be mad at him because I knew that it was likely him trying to help me. It just hadn’t gone as planned, that’s all.
A few days later, I was caught up with something else and I forgot all about Marilyn coming in. She’d made an appointment with Dale, but I let it slip my mind. I heard her voice behind me, and I almost had a heart attack. I wanted to look good for Marilyn, but it was clear that I wasn’t feeling good about it. Marilyn was standing there, and she had her phone out, looking at the time.
“Hi, we had an appointment. I made it with that guy… I didn’t mean to startle you.” Marilyn looked sorry to be there, and I didn’t want her to feel that way. I could see the uncertainty in her face. Did she feel the same way that I did, like being around me was too much?
“Yeah, sorry. I got sidetracked. Are you ready?” I was supposed to follow her to her place, and I wasn’t ready. I didn’t mean to make her wait, but it was about five minutes before I had everything gathered up that I would need to take with me. Marilyn didn’t say much as we got in our cars. I didn’t know what I thought was going to happen, but this awkwardness going on wasn’t it. Why couldn’t I be around her without feeling so off?
Marilyn’s place was quite large, and I had to imagine that it came with all of her money from those commercials and high-dollar clients that she had. She was doing well in the city, at least financially, so why was she back? The other question was answered quickly. I wanted to know why she thought that she needed security. I didn’t want to hear about how someone was going to get her or anything like that, but what else could it be? Marilyn being back in Coloma made no sense to me.
She showed me around her house as we talked, and I told her that I liked the place. I didn’t have to lie either, the place was rather interesting. It was two stories and while it wasn’t moved into all the way, her items were strewn out and they matched her. I also noticed that it seemed to be just her there, no kids or man and that was a good thing. I liked the idea that she was single, though I wasn’t going to give Dale the news. He didn’t need to know anything more about her.
“I didn’t mean to run out on you the other day. I would have stayed, but the meetings had already been set up,” I started. It was a lame excuse, but I felt like I had to do something.
Marilyn waved me off and told me not to worry about it. I did though. I definitely worried about her and how she felt about it all. I didn’t want her to think that I didn’t care. I did. Likely, I cared way too much. “Nothing to worry about. You seemed busy. I never would have guessed this is what you would do, but I hear you have quite a business here.”
I nodded, not saying anything one way or another. It was strange to be here, her to be in front of me. I was clueless as to what to say, do, I didn’t even know how to stand. So, I moved around the room and asked her some of the basic questions that I asked everyone else.
“So, what do you do?”
Marilyn laughed; the sound made me smile. “Why do you need to know that?”
I shrugged. I knew what she did, but she didn’t need to know that I followed her career. I had given her up so that she wouldn’t give up her career, so I had to make sure that it was worth it. I knew from the caliber of fame that she got already at her young age, it was worth it. I wished that it had been different, but there was no reason to let regret in. It’s not like I could help it anyway.
“I am trying to figure out what kind of danger you expect or worry about. It’s a standard question, but you don’t have to answer any that you don’t want to. I’m just here to make sure that you are safe, and I do that by assessing the situation. I don’t want to bother you; I just want you to be safe. All of these questions are put together to do just that.”
Marilyn smiled. “You’ve told me that before, remember?”
I did, but I instead shrugged like I wasn’t sure what she was talking about. I didn’t want her to know how I felt, how I was always worried about what was going to happen next with her. Marilyn had been too beautiful for her own good, and she had no wherewithal of how hot she was. Her innocence had driven men crazy, me included, but there was a huge responsibility when we were together, just from her being herself. I wondered now who she was trying to be safe from.
