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Handing him his glass, we drank to my father.
“I must say, I expected Serena to be here today.”
I hadn’t meant to slam my glass on the desk, but the simple mention of her name seemed to tip me over the edge.
“I thought things were going well between the two of you?”
“They were. Until last night.” I watched my uncle walk around the coffee table and sit in the chair next to me.
“So, what happened last night?”
Raking my hands through my hair, I suddenly became desperate to talk to someone about it.
“My head has been all over the place…work is the one thing that I seem to be able to handle. Serena had been trying to get in touch, asking if I was doing okay, letting me know she was there for me.”
“And I’m guessing you ignored her?”
“I did for a while, I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want her to see me in the state I was in. I finally gave in and followed her back to her place. We talked for a bit, then had sex. Then it all went wrong.”
“What happened?”
“I told her I was falling in love with her.”
Ben’s hand stopped in midair.
“And guess what? She didn’t say it back. She said I was wrong and didn’t mean it, that my emotions were all over the place because of Father’s death. How I was confusing my feelings with everything that was going on.”
“That can’t have been easy to hear. I don’t think I’ve ever known you to tell a girl you love her—at least not this quick. Now, don’t bite my head off, but is there even the slightest chance she could partially be right?”
“No!” I shouted, simultaneously trying to suppress that niggling thread of doubt that began to worm its way into my head. “You don’t understand, I’ve never felt the way I do about her with anyone else. Ever. When I’m with her, I forget everything. I don’t think about work or my family. For a brief time, she even made me forget the pain.”
I fixed myself another drink. Ben declined the offer.
“So, what then happened?”
“I left.”
“You just upped and left? No talking to her? Try to convince her that you meant every word?”
Unable to look him in the eyes, I ran my hands through my hair before leaning my elbows on my knees. My eyes followed the intricate engraving on the wooden mantel above the fireplace.
“No. I couldn’t be around her, I couldn’t face even looking at her. She doesn’t feel for me what I feel for her. I needed to get out of there.”
“Have you spoken to her since?”
I looked over, and at that moment, all I could see were the similarities my uncle’s face had to my father’s. I’d never previously noticed they had such a strong resemblance, but right that second, it felt uncanny. The sympathy, sorrow, and empathy seemed to seep from his eyes. For the first time in god knew how long, I felt close, or at least closer to someone in my family and safe enough to let my guard down. At least a little bit.
I shook my head.
There was a long stretch of silence, but it seemed comfortable for both of us as we each sat back and relaxed further into our seats.
Eventually, Ben broke the silence. “What now?”
“Now? Well, I’ve got to get through this damn wake first.”
“And then?”
“Then, I honestly don’t know. Maybe go away for a couple of days? Give us both some space? I don’t know.”
