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Once lunch is out of the way and Ireland is settled, Emily finds me in the kitchen filling a glass with ice from the fridge and then pouring Diet Doke over it. It’s an addiction and I know it’s not good for me, but after the lack of sleep last night I need all the caffeine help I can get.
“Want some?”
She shakes her head and I see a tear fall down her face. It’s then that I realize that she’s been holding herself together for Ireland, and that she needs this moment to break down for a beat.
I put my glass down and walk towards her. “Come here, Gracie.”
I pull her into me and I wrap my arms around her. Her arms come around my waist and I can feel her balling my shirt up in her hands as she holds on for dear life. I can’t believe on a day like today I was so sensitive to what she said in the truck. I am such a dick.
She isn’t sobbing out loud, but the tears don’t stop, and I can feel my shirt dampening with each tear that falls. It’s seems as though she has perfected crying in silence over the years, trying to hide her pain and worry from her precious little girl because she’s a great mom and that’s what moms do. I don’t say a word and I don’t let go. I need to let her take whatever time she needs, and we’ll talk once she’s ready.
After several minutes of holding her and letting her get it all out, she steps back but stays in my arms. “Thank you, I needed that. I’m good now in fact…I think I’m better than your shirt. Sorry,” she says as she tries to wipe the dampness off with her hands just to give herself something to do.
“No need to be sorry. It’s been a crazy day and you’re allowed to get some of that crazy out. You ready to talk about it?”
She takes my drink off the counter where I left it, takes a sip, nods her answer, hands me my drink and heads to the family room where she flops down on the couch. She sits with her back against the arm of the chair, and I tap her legs as a signal for her to lift her legs. I sit next to her and she puts her legs over my lap.
“So, I heard back from Blackburn. He said that there aren’t any cameras in your hallway, but they checked all the camera angles in the main hall that leads to your room and there weren’t any adults that didn’t belong. It was just the appropriate students and maybe their friends. He didn’t see anything odd, but I’m still gonna take a look myself tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?” I ask to make sure she’s good to go on.
“Yep, so where did you go after you left the school?”
“Well…I um…shit. Listen, I know it wasn’t policy and I shouldn’t have gone, but I went to Jesse Miller’s apartment to talk to him.”
“You what?” She says as her bloodshot eyes open wide.
“Let me explain. I know it sounds bad, and I swear I didn’t even tell him about what was going on with you. I just wanted to go to his place to see what family might be with him. I don’t know why, but I had this need to go there myself. I identified myself as an officer, told him I was a friend of yours and was checking on him for you. I don’t know what I thought would come of my visit, but I needed to do it for me since he’s the only link we can come up with in this whole mess.”
“Okay, and what did you find out? How is he?”
“Poor kid is all on his own and trying to get a job so he can support himself and his younger brother. As soon as he turned eighteen last week, his grandma left them on their own. He has an aunt and some cousins that don’t have room for him, so he’s on his own with his brother for now. I left him my card and let him know that if he needed anything he could call.”
“Shit! We have to find a place for him. This is all my fault, Jonathan.” Her voice trails off as she speaks the end of her statement.
“Sweetheart, this is not your fault. Not only are you required to report abuse in your line of work, but you got him out of a violent situation and maybe even saved his life. You have enough of your own shit going on to worry about him too. I gave him my info and I promise I will keep checking on them. I told him you wanted to see him back at school if possible. It was clear you mean a lot to him.”
“There has to be something we can do for him. I could move into Ireland’s room and Jesse and his brother could have my room. Wait…I could probably lose my job if I did that! Shit! This is a kid’s life we’re talking about though. Shit! Shit! Shit!”
Now, she’s up and off the couch, pacing the room. She’s fidgeting with restless energy. She pulls her hair up and into a messy bun then she pulls that out and lets it fall. Two-seconds later it’s in a ponytail high up on her head and then it’s back down again. Where do these hairbands even come from? Watching her is amazing and exhausting all at once. She cares so much about this kid that she isn’t even thinking about her own situation.
“Emily, come here,” I say using my forefinger to summon her to me.
She comes back to the couch and sits next to me, facing me with her knees pulled up to her chest while she worries her necklace.
“Sweetheart, do you have class today or any homework you need to get done? I can take care of Ireland if she needs anything.”
“No class today. I have a paper I should be working on but there’s no way I can focus on that right now. My brain hurts trying to figure out who’s doing this to me, how to protect my baby girl and how to help Jesse.”
“Why don’t you take some time off work until we figure this out? Just focus on school and Ireland.”
“I can’t take care of Ireland if I don’t have a job. You have no idea how lucky I am to have a part-time job that includes benefits. I have to have benefits, Jonathan. You just never know what could happen, and I can’t lose this job. Besides, I won’t let these bastards win. Fuck them if they think they’ll scare me away from my job.”
That’s my girl.
20
