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Anna giggles and sniffles, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. “No, that’s not it. I was just thinking about the last few weeks. I felt so alone until you found me. I couldn’t talk to any of my friends, and I had just lost my father. I hadn’t had time to process his death yet.”
“Do you need to process it?” My tone is tight, but I keep my word choice intentional.
Even though I have my own opinion on the matter, her father was still important to her. He was still someone she loved, and if there's one thing I've noticed about my angel, it’s that she loves and cares deeply.
Forgiving her will allow our baby to experience that kind of love. Will she ever love me though?
“I don’t want to.” Anna sits up in bed, leaning against the tufted white headboard. “If I start to think about the life I had with him, I’m just going to be upset.”
I shuffle to lean beside her, masking the surprise that nearly overtakes my features. “I thought you wanted time to mourn him properly.”
“I started doing that long before he was gone. At least if I really think about it.” She drags the blanket up her body, clutching it to her chest. “I used to spend so much time thinking that he was a good father. There was no wrong that he could do in my eyes.”
“What changed?”
“Four months is a long time to think about your life. I was alone and didn’t have much else to think about. And then I remembered little moments from my growing up years. The ones that don’t seem to mean much until you look at them under a microscope.”
“Like what?” I wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into my side and offering her what little comfort I can. God, she is so vulnerable, it tugs at my hardened heart.
It's a strange feeling to sit and talk to her like this. I've never had a woman stay late into the morning after a night of sex, let alone have a meaningful conversation. But I like it, this is where she belongs, here, next to me.
And to think, if I had killed her, we wouldn’t be having this moment right now.
The corner of my mouth curls upwards. It's funny how life can throw a spanner in the works of the best-laid plans.
Anna sighs heavily. “Like the time he took me to a casino. I didn’t think much about it until the day before you picked me up. The day he took me there, I couldn’t have been more than six or seven. He told me it would only take an hour or two and then we'd go for ice cream.”
“And did you?”
She shakes her head, her frown deepening. Sorrow fills her chocolate eyes as she blinks away the tears. “No. He forgot me there. He only came to get me when the bartender called him and threatened to call the police if he didn’t pick me up.”
If her father were not already dead, I would hunt him down and tear him to pieces. He would pay for everything he did to his daughter in his miserable life. Motherfucker!
Her hands fidget with the blanket and she stares out the window. “Up until he died, I thought he was the best father a daughter could have, even when he didn’t offer himself to you when you were there. Then he begged me not to go to you, said he would go, but he knew he was dying.”
“He should have.” The words come out in a gruff tone before I can stop them. Now that they’re out there, I’m done holding back. “If he were a real father, he would have given me his life without hesitation, especially in his condition. He wouldn't have even considered letting you go with me.”
“I realized that about a month into hiding from you.” Her mouth tips up into a bitter smile, her hands curling into fists. “I don’t want that for our child.”
“This will never be the life our child will have.” I squeeze her thigh and try to reassure her as best I can. “I may not be a good person, but in the Bratva, we take care of our families, always. Our child will know nothing but a good life.”
Anna’s chest rises and falls, her eyes dry as the warm brown rays seek mine. The tip of her nose wrinkles in an endearing way that reminds me of a bunny before she nods.
“I think you mean that.” She releases her death grip on the blanket. “I want our child to grow up protected. I don’t want our child to worry that his parents will forget him or burden him with debts he can’t escape from.”
“You don’t need to worry. I will protect our child with my life. And if I’m not around, my men will sentence anyone who dares to harm our child to their death.”
Even if she doesn't know if she can trust me, I know who I am and how far I will go for our child. My enemies will not come near the baby. They will die if they even think of harming what belongs to me and the Bratva.
Anna shuts her eyes and tilts her head back. “One time when I was a teen—before cancer—he told me that there were bad men in his life, but he was going to start a casino, and that would get them off his back.”
“He borrowed the money to do just that.”
She snorts, blushing at the noise. “I don’t think he intended to use the money for a business. If he did, it certainly wasn’t the one he told everyone about.”
“Why do you think that?”
To my knowledge, though James White was an idiot, he didn’t often find himself on the wrong side of people.
