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“Yeah, I guess some part of me wanted to think that maybe…” He sighed. “You know what’s really fucked up?”
“What?” I said.
“All along, I wanted Eleri to want me and only me. I wanted us to have a bond where she responded to me in a way she doesn’t respond to any other alpha. I wanted her to adore me. And all that time, I already had that. With you.”
My lips parted.
“But I fucked it up. And now you’re with Sinclair.” He lifted his shoulders. “I’m sorry if I took you for granted, Rohan. I’m sorry if I pushed you away when I should have held you close. I’m really, really sorry.”
“Stop apologizing,” I muttered.
“I think I need to apologize.”
“Maybe,” I said, nodding. “Maybe.”
“You just want me to stop because you don’t want to forgive me? Because you don’t have to. I don’t need you to—”
“Obviously, I forgive you,” I said. It was strange. Here it was, this thing I thought I’d wanted, all this time, for him to be mine, really mine, to say out loud how he felt about me. But now, it was as though I didn’t need it anymore. He was giving it to me after I’d grown past our dynamic, which I realized hadn’t been entirely healthy for either of us. Now, we needed to find a new dynamic. The thing was, I wasn’t even sure how to do that.
It was quiet.
“I do want you to be with us,” he said. “Are you busy tonight? You could come to Eleri’s room.”
“Does she know you’re asking me?” I said.
“Yes,” he said.
“I mean, I want to,” I said. It was only that I didn’t think Sinclair would like it, and I felt like I needed to tell him about it. He was fragile right now, and I was afraid that if I did the wrong thing, he’d bend or break or overdose or some shit. I valued what he and I had, but it was also too much for me, being entirely responsible for him in the way that I’d become. “But I think I need to, uh, talk to Sinclair first. I’m guessing he’s not invited.”
“You should see what he did to her,” said Devlin, his face hard. “Maguire tended her before I saw it, but she’s all bruised up.”
“Yeah, he said he was rough with her,” I said, my mouth twisting. “I won’t let him do that again.”
“He’s not really controllable.”
“I can control him.” I shifted on my feet. “What if it was just me and him with her?”
“You don’t want to be with me with her?” he said. “After everything we had, everything we planned…? Are you done with me, Rohan?”
“No,” I said. “No, I could never be done with you, Devlin.”
He eyed me, and I could scent that he didn’t believe it.
I was confused.
Devlin spread his hands. “It’s up to Eleri if she wants to fuck the both of you, I think. I don’t own her.”
Right.
sinclair
ROHAN WAS TRYING to tell me something, but I was feeling needy and drunk on his scent, so I just pushed him down on the couch and scrambled up next to him, running my nose over his fly.
“Sinclair, seriously?” His voice was thick and more than a little turned on.
“You don’t want it?” I said, teasing him.
“I want to talk to you about something, and you’re distracting me.”
