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"I'm definitely not ready to date anyone, that's for sure. Tim fucked me up. I need at least a couple years of enjoying being single before I even think about it."
We walk up and down the aisles, looking for something we like. The selection is overwhelming and I don't know where to start, but Betty jumps right in, admiring each dress and giving me her honest opinion on what would look good on me. She doesn't hesitate to point out a dress that I find too plain, or one that she doesn't think would bring out my features. Her enthusiasm is contagious, and soon I'm scouring through the racks of dresses with a newfound enthusiasm.
Finally, we find two dresses that we both agree on—a soft pink dress with a flowy skirt and a shimmering blue one with a tight bodice. I know that I'm not ready yet, but it's still a thought that teases me.
"You don't have to rush, you know. You'll find someone when the time is right."
After purchasing the dresses, we leave the store.
"This is your first time going?" Betty asks.
"I never got asked when I was younger, so it's nice to finally be able to go."
“With Adonis?” She smiled.
“Okay. Okay. Maybe he isn’t as bad as I thought, but that doesn’t mean we are going to jump in bed together or be some epic love story. Calm down.”
Learning more about Adonis has changed my perception of him. We are both hurting, and we need to learn not to take it out on others like we have been. I obviously have an attitude problem, but Adonis has been quick to call me out too.
I hope everything goes okay tomorrow and maybe it’ll be the first time to not make a fool of myself in his presence.
Here we go.
10
Adonis
The wind howls outside, mocking the stillness of the room. Ryan asked me to take Raven to the Scarlett Dance. It is the social event of the year, the one place where everyone dressed up like royals. The last time I attended it was with Britney. I loved her fiercely and somehow this feels like I'm moving on, but she still is very much a part of my life.
But here I am, taking another girl to the dance—and it feels like I'm cheating on Britney. Betraying her memory in some way. I didn't want to date Raven—I just want to find a way to start over, to find someone who can help me move on. I didn't want to hurt Raven, but I also didn't want to hurt Britney. I'm stuck in an impossible situation.
I close my eyes and try to clear my head, to focus on the present. Britney would want me to be happy. Maybe she would have wanted me to take a chance, to reach out and find someone who can understand an ounce of the pain of my past and accept me as I am.
I want to be loyal to Britney, to honor her memory—but I also want to take a step forward, to move on and start a new chapter in my life. I want to believe that I can find happiness again—but I don't know if I am ready. Right now, I need to put all that aside.
The tuxedo has been my go-to outfit for any formal event or special occasion. It was my grandpa's and I inherited it after he passed away a few years ago. He wore it to my parents' wedding and countless other important events throughout his life, so it was a reminder of the legacy he left behind. I admire the way the black fabric wraps around my body, accentuating my already broad shoulders. The white dress shirt underneath is a stark contrast, a reminder I can be both strong and gentle.
I laugh at myself for getting so sentimental about my outfit for the night when I need to focus on the task at hand. Getting ready for the dance. I put on the matching black dress shoes and tuxedo jacket, brush my hair, and apply some subtle cologne.
My eyes search the room for where I left my phone and pick it up.
Adonis: Should I head that way?
She has already sent me a few text messages throughout the day, so I know she is just as excited for the night as I am.
Raven: Ready when you are.
The streets are bustling with people and cars driving by, but for some reason, I feel like I am the only one in the world. I imagine myself as the lead of some romantic movie as I smoothly walk towards my destination.
When I arrive at Raven's apartment, nervousness sets in. This is a step in the right direction. Britney will be happy for me. Raven and I might not be going to this as an official date, but I want to take tonight to prove to her I am not the arrogant asshole she thinks I am.
The apartment building in front of me finally, I take a deep breath, and go up to their apartment. Knock. Knock. Knock.
"I heard you wanted to go to the Scarlet dance," I say, my voice like a distant memory, as I offer her a bouquet of wildflowers. Raven smiles. She looks beautiful in her blue dress, her brown hair cascading down her back.
"Yes, I would love to."
"Very well," I say, offering her my arm. "Let's go."
