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Anxiety takes hold of me like a vice as I trudge through the hallways of the hospital. Every step I take seems to echo, alerting the nurses manning the station of my presence. Their eyes, filled with recognition, fix upon me like a hawk eyeing its prey. I'm almost certain that every face remembers me from my last visit.
“Excuse me,” I say, summoning all the courage I can muster. “I’m here to check on a patient. Adonis Pierce.”
The nurse glances down at her clipboard. “Ah, yes dear. He’s in room 304.”
My heart nears eruption as I walk down the hall towards his room, my feet heavy. I take a deep breath before pushing open the door, and my stomach twists into a tight knot when I catch sight of him. Adonis lies in bed, his features almost drained, the machines and tubes snaking around him like a dead man's embrace. Fear grips me like a cold hand around my throat. I have to be brave and find out what is happening. Sweat beads on my forehead as I watch and wait.
I stand paralyzed with fear as I take in the sight of him. He's shrinking before my eyes and his vibrant life force is slowly withering. I stumble forward towards him, tears streaming down my face. How could the doctors have been so blind to miss all the other signs? He never said a word about anything else but those silly burns, and now I'm consumed with terror at the thought of losing him forever. What if this is what takes him away from me?
“Adonis!" I cry out, my voice teeming with a passionate desperation.
Adonis stirs in his sleep, his eyes shooting open like laser beams. "Raven. You came back."
"I had to," I whisper fiercely, dropping a kiss onto my cheek." My heart wouldn’t let me stay away."
I sit on the edge of the bed, careful not to disturb the tubes and wires. I reach out and take his hand in mine.
“How are you feeling? What happened? You were fine a couple of days ago.”
Adonis looks away, unable to meet my gaze. “I’m okay,” he says. “The debris fell on me when I went inside must have fucked up my head, because they said it was bleeding internally. It required surgery, but the doctors say I’m going to make a full recovery. It takes time."
My eyes shine with tears. “That’s good news.”
His eyes meet mine. “I’m sorry I scared you.”
My hand is still clasped around his. I say with a weak smile. “I’m glad you’re going to be okay.”
Adonis closes his eyes and drifts back to sleep. I watch him in silence, my heart heavy with emotion. I stay by his side for the rest of the day, watching him sleep and holding his hand. When the sun sets, I leave the hospital, my heart still aching.
The next couple of days pass in a blur. I spend my days visiting Adonis in the hospital, but he is still too weak to talk much. The doctors said it can take weeks or even months for him to fully recover.
The days turn into weeks, but he's getting better every day. My phone vibrates against the bathroom counter as I'm getting ready for work.
"Hey, can I call you back in a bit?" I say.
"Just wanna let you know Adonis is much stronger. Just left and they say he should be discharged soon."
"Thanks for giving me good news this time," I say, before hanging up.
I still have some time before having to go into work, and I can sneak by for a quick visit.
When I enter his room, Adonis is sitting up in bed, a smile on his face. He looks so much better than before, and my heart soars with happiness. I rush over to him and hug him, tears streaming down my face.
“You’re better!”
“Almost brand new! The doctors said I can go home soon.”
I hug him again, not wanting to let him go. I have been so scared I wouldn’t see him again, and now here he is, alive and well.
After I call work and my boss gives me the okay, I switch shifts with someone else, so I can spend the rest of the day with him. I tell him about working at the diner now, and still carrying on the tradition of having apple pie three nights a week for him.
When it's time to go, I give him one last hug and say goodbye, my heart full of joy.
It has been a long and difficult road, but Adonis is on the mend. Relief washes over me as I leave the hospital. I have been so scared, but now I can rest easy.
As I drive home, I allow my feelings for Adonis to sink in. I can't deny it any longer: I'm madly in love with him. They aren't going anywhere anytime soon and instead of brushing them aside, I will let myself feel again; no matter how scared or vulnerable—I will take this opportunity to get close to someone who understands full well what “surviving” means.
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