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“It’s like he knows you,” I say, sending her a wink of my own.
Willa:
Thanks, big guy!
“Damian?”
“Yeah,” I answer after we’ve tossed our phones back on the coffee table. She starts to crawl over to my end of the couch but pauses for my permission. I nod to her, and she continues arranging herself atop me, her head resting on my shoulder.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For today. For letting me feel safe to be myself with you.”
“I’d never want you to be anything but yourself, Willa.” I press a kiss to the top of her head, but she turns her face to mine. So, I press one to her strawberry-colored lips, too. “Thank you for understanding my quirks.”
“It’s not a quirk. Or a flaw. It’s just you, and I like you.”
“I quite like you, too, beautiful.”
11
Zander
“Hi, Mom,” I answer the phone tentatively. She rarely calls with anything other than bad news or the gripes she’s had my whole life.
“Zan, what is going on in Seattle,” she asks, sounding far more aghast than anything could warrant.
“I don’t know what you mean, Mom. I’m working, and Seattle is my new home. You know this.”
“I saw that article on the internet,” she hisses into the phone. “What if your sister had seen it?”
“What article,” I ask, although I know what she’s talking about.
“The one about you being a homosexual, Zander.” She’s whispering now, as if just saying the word threatens to send her to Hell.
“It’s just a cheap gossip site,” I explain. The team’s legal team hasn’t been able to get the post removed. Short of paying off the author, which I was adamant about not doing, we have no grounds to have it pulled. Paying them off only gives the story more credence and I don’t want the asshole to win by getting my cash. It sucks that my fourteen-year-old sister might see it. Callie has a tender heart. Someday we’ll be able to have a conversation about it, free of our parents’ bullshit, and she’ll understand. I think, anyway.
“Is it true?”
“Mom.” I sigh. “I’ll tell you the same thing I’d tell anyone who asked me that. It’s not your business.”
“Of course, it’s my business,” she says. I can hear the tears and hysterics kick in. “How do you think that makes your father and I look? If this gets around, we’ll be a laughingstock around town. I can’t even imagine what Pastor John will say.”
This has always been the way of things with my family. Whatever I do, or Callie does, is a direct reflection on them. But only the things we do that they deem bad. Our accomplishments have never mattered much at all. I’m the oldest of two siblings. My sister is a full decade younger than me. A lot changed when Callie came along. There was a time I thought my mom was going to divorce my dad and we’d get away from the toxicity that wafts off him like cheap aftershave. But then she found out she was pregnant. She wasn’t the same after that. Besides, I don’t know where we could have gone. Seems like half of the town is related to us. Among all my parents’ siblings, I have something like twenty-five cousins. It’s hard to keep track, even if I tried.
“Would you be this upset about it if you didn’t think Dad will go ballistic if he hears about it?”
“Yes, Zander,” she says, trying to sound convincing. Lies.
“I don’t believe that. As far as the townsfolk and your congregation, you could just tell them that your son is a professional hockey player in The Show and how proud you are of that. It’s more than any of their sons have accomplished, after all.”
She’s quiet for a few moments, taking in my admonishment. It won’t change anything, but I refuse to bend any more for her benefit. She has options now, she has to want to take them, though. Hockey is second only to God in my hometown, and only barely. Me playing for the Blades should be getting them plenty of accolades to skate by on. Of course, they only focus on what they see as a negative.
“I am proud of you,” she whispers. “Callie is too.”
“You don’t need to keep on like this, Mom. I’ve told you before, I’ll move you both out here. Just say the word.” It’s an offer I make regularly. Each time is met with an excuse. She’s afraid to leave him and I can’t convince her that he doesn’t matter.
