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“Joe, I just want you to get better,” I pleaded, clutching him with a death grip. “I need you to. So badly.”
“Joey, it’s time to go,” John Sr. called out, sending another sucker punch to my gut.
“Yeah, two secs,” he called back in a frustrated tone. “Fuck, Aoife, this is it, baby. I have to go.”
“Just a few more minutes,” I heard myself beg and a pained groan tore from his chest. “I’m sorry. It’s just hard.”
“It’s time to go, Joey love.”
“Crap,” I strangled out, chest heaving from pressure. “Joe.”
“You look after yourself, ya hear?” he said, tone gravelly and thick with emotion. “Don’t be climbing any walls while I’m gone, Houdini.” Roughly clearing his throat, he pressed a hard kiss to my brow and then stepped back. “I’ll be seeing ya, Molloy.”
And then he was walking away from me.
Walking out of my life.
Leaving me behind.
I stood at his mother’s graveside and watched him go.
With my fingertips touching the locket around my neck, the one he’d given me for my eighteenth birthday, I watched them take him away.
I stood and watched, my heart cracking and splintering with every step he took.
And I had no control.
He was leaving me, and I didn’t know if he would ever come back.
Trying to be strong for the both of us, because God knows he needed someone to be strong for him, I smacked on the smile I had spent my whole life perfecting and kept my eyes trained on his back, feeling like I was seconds away from dying.
I couldn’t breathe.
The pain inside of me was stifling.
Several headstones separated us now, as death surrounded us in the most poignant way. It was almost symbolic really. We were in the place a person went to when their life ended as our relationship potentially ended.
Well, the cruel fucking irony of it all.
My world was falling down around me, and I was powerless to stop it.
No.
No.
No!
I couldn’t save him, I accepted that now, but the scary part was that I wasn’t sure anyone could. Underneath it all, he was the person I loved, and I still wanted to be with that person.
My flag was still stitched to his broken mast.
I had his baby growing inside of me, a baby I couldn’t think about raising alone, even though I knew there was a very high probability that I would have to.
I just wanted to make him better.
“Promise me, Joe!” I broke down and called out, crying hard, as I watched him walk away from me for what could potentially be the last time. “Promise me that you’ll come back for me!”
Weak girl.
