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But maybe he isn’t okay either.
It’s a conversation that we need to have eventually. If Mark thinks Brookes deserves another chance, then maybe he has changed.
He did come back the other morning. He wasn’t leaving me. He promised that he isn’t going to be going anywhere.
If he’s this sure about me now, then why did he ghost me in the first place?
What we had the other night was fun. It was the beginning of something that could become serious if I’m not careful. The fact that I don’t know why he ghosted me is still weighing heavily.
We’ll never be able to move forward if I don’t talk to him about it. However, if I talk to him, I’m giving him the power to break my heart again.
I don’t think I can withstand being broken by him again.
12
BROOKES
The Barn is warm as Patrick demonstrates first aid at the front of the room. He digs through the first aid kits we’ll be carrying with us, pulling out the triangular bandages and showing them to the people in the front row.
Everybody is paired up with another person. Black mats pad the floor and stretch from one side of the room to the other. The desks are pushed against the far wall and the chairs are stacked on top of them.
I lean back and stretch my legs out in front of me, looking at the dummy on my mat. Jessie kneels beside it, sorting through the first aid kit. Her nose wrinkles at the tiny pair of scissors she pulls out and sets to the side.
“Alright,” Patrick says as he holds up a small booklet, “this is the first aid kit supply log. This is what you’ll fill out every time you have to use any of the supplies in your kit. The number on the front of your logbook matches the number on your kit. You will be expected to hand in the kits and logbooks at the end of every shift.”
Dani smiles and whispers something to Fletcher at the front of the room before starting to move around the perimeter. She stops beside Jessie and whispers something to her before getting up and moving to the front of the room.
Patrick puts the logbook on the ground beside the first aid kit. “Your logbooks have to be filled out. If I have to go through your kits to find out what’s missing, I won’t be a happy camper.”
“Not only that,” Fletcher says as he crosses his arms and leans back against the wall behind him. “If there are supplies missing and we don’t know to refill your kits, you could be out there in the middle of a rescue and unable to help the victim properly.”
Jessie stiffens and looks up. Her hands shake slightly as she pulls out more of the supplies, counting what’s in there despite the fact that she already knows.
It’s interesting to see how focused she is on training that she’s been doing for years. Her nose wrinkles and a little line appears between her eyebrows when she’s deeply focused on what Patrick is saying.
It’s easy to see that Jessie is taking the training seriously, even though she’s already fully trained.
She takes our profession as seriously as I do.
Jessie looks over her shoulder at me and taps the ground beside her and the dummy. I move closer, kneeling beside her as Patrick goes through the last of the supplies in the kit.
“You look like you’re having the time of your life,” she says, a small smile playing around the corners of her mouth. “I thought you would be up there, taking the first chance you could to show off after we completely failed the navigation training.”
Does she think I don’t take this training as seriously as she does? Does she think that emergency medicine and being a doctor are a joke to me?
I roll my eyes and help her put the supplies back in the kit. “I don’t need to show off.”
“I know. You’re good at your job and it’s clear you have a passion for this.” She smiles and nudges her shoulder against mine. “One of these days, I’ll get as good as you at this wilderness stuff and then you’re going to have to show off.”
I chuckle, warmth spreading through me. Hearing Jessie say that she thinks I’m good at being a doctor is praise I didn’t know I needed from her.
“You’re going to have a hell of a time catching up to me,” I say, my tone teasing as I snap the first aid kit shut. “So, do you think there’s any point in making out with the dummy?”
Jessie laughs and raises an eyebrow. “Damn, and here I thought you liked it when we make out.”
My hand flies to my heart as I sit back on my heels. “Jessie! Get your mind out of the gutter.”
She clamps a hand over her mouth, smothering her laughter as Patrick starts to go over how to take a pulse. Though I want to be respectful and pay attention to the information I already know, it’s hard when Jessie’s giving me that smile.
