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I cared about him too damn much for it to be any other way.
Maybe if he hadn’t put himself out there earlier this evening, it might have been easier to pretend that I was protecting myself because he’d eventually…leave.
But I wasn’t so sure that he would get bored and walk away anymore. I wasn’t certain we were simply drawn to each other because we’d both experienced a period in our lives when we were in a dark place.
Hell, there was more to this relationship than just that.
We’d share much more of ourselves than just that.
If we hadn’t, I wouldn’t be sitting here talking to my dog and trying to find the courage to really show Dylan how much I wanted him.
If he’d really meant everything he’d said tonight, he deserved that.
I just wasn’t sure how to explain why spilling my guts was so damn difficult for me or why letting my guard down was almost impossible.
Dylan was the only man who had ever tempted me to throw caution to the wind and just see how and where things landed.
Probably because it killed me to see him put himself out there and not get the similar response he deserved.
I knew Dylan.
He wasn’t saying anything he didn’t believe.
It was me who couldn’t accept that every word he said was genuine because I was ridiculously insecure when it came to him.
The sad thing was, he’d never given me a single reason to feel that way.
I was almost certain that he was the guy, the one I’d always hoped to find but never had.
Which was the reason I hadn’t been able to stop myself from falling head over heels in love with Dylan.
That’swhy I was terrified.
“I love him, Jake,” I whispered. “What in the hell am I supposed to do now?”
Let him walk away without knowing how I felt about him?
Nope. That wasn’t an option.
He probably wasn’t head over heels in love with me, but I knew he had feelings for me.
Whether it lasted forever or not, I was going to experience what it felt like to be with someone who cared about me.
Dammit!I deserved that, and I desperately wanted it, even if I had picked the hottest man on the planet to have that unknown adventure with.
My decision made; I glanced at the bedside clock and realized it was close to one a.m.
“He did say his door would always be open to me,” I muttered nervously.
Did that include really late at night?
I rose from the bed, disgusted with myself.
If I really wanted Dylan, I wasn’t going after what I wanted halfheartedly.
For the first time in my life, I was going all-in because Dylan Lancaster was worth it.
“Wish me luck, Jake,” I said as I gave the dog one last pat.
If Dylan didn’t want me to crawl into his bed in the middle of the night, he should have never put an offer that tempting out there in the first place.
