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He held his hand up. “I understand this. I don’t place any blame on you. Kenrik is stubborn and high-strung. He’s hard to dissuade. He must be made to understand, even if you hurt him.”
“Even if I do, I don’t believe there’s any chance he’ll marry Tiwlip. He told me he has other dreams.”
“I know of his wistful fantasies. He can dream all he wants, but he still has a duty to his family.”
“So there’s no choice for him?” I asked. Kenrik’s limitations were worse than I imagined. Could a father really dictate whom his children should marry? At least emrys had the freedom of that choice in Gorlassar.
“If he doesn’t marry Tiwlip, then he’ll marry another lord’s daughter. Brenin has many lords in his realm wavering in their allegiance. Were Kenrik not to marry Tiwlip, he would marry another for a marriage union.”
“I understand. I’ll make sure he understands.”
“You weren’t planning on accepting him, were you?” King Sieffre asked.
“He hasn’t asked.”
“What will you tell Kelyn?”
“He told you?” I felt horrified.
“He can’t stop talking about how much he cares for you.”
I covered my mouth and looked down at my lap. No, how much he loves me.
“Oh, my dear.” Sieffre knelt beside me and took my hands. “I can’t deny that I had hoped you’d choose Kelyn. You’d make a wonderful daughter. You’re such a joy. Even if you don’t accept either of them, you’d be welcome here. Always. I owe you more than I could ever repay. You’re already like a daughter in my eyes.”
“My heart is still heavy. I’ve left my home, running from disgrace. I’ve been thrown into this world and its beauty, but I’ve come to love its people.” And possibly Kelyn.
“At the same time you’ve been bombarded by the cunning of men and their schemes. You’ve realized not all men are good. I’m sorry for what you’ve endured. I didn’t want you to go with them on the mission. You shouldn’t have been subjected to the horrors you saw. The blood of those men should not be on your hands.”
“It’s all right,” I said. “It’s too late. I made the choice to go.”
“As long as you’re under my roof, you’re my responsibility. I owe this to your parents. If I ever stood before them, I’d like to say I took care of you with every ounce of my strength—that I fought for your purity.”
“You’re very sweet.”
“The blood is not on your hands, Niawen,” he said. “The burden is mine. As the ruler of this realm, I’m responsible for every life. Give me your guilt. Let it go. It’s on me. Then be free to choose happiness. Do you understand?”
I sniffed and nodded, but I couldn’t let my mistake go that easily.
“And make a decision. Tell my sons what’s in your heart and mind. Tell them you can’t marry them. Or tell them your heart’s still broken. Travel the country if you must. Go to Brenin’s realm. Track down that fur trader.”
I laughed. So Sieffre wasn’t blind to Owein’s affections for me either. He rose, and I followed him.
“Thanks for the talk,” I said.
He leaned in and embraced me. “My Niawen. Be happy.”
THIRTY-THREE
“Look at your face.” I lifted the slab of meat off Kenrik’s eye. I didn’t understand the strange healing custom.
“I can’t look at it. My eye’s swollen shut.”
Kenrik was lying on a chaise in his mother’s drawing room. Sorfrona slipped out when I told her I wanted a minute alone with Kenrik.
“Your nose is smashed,” I said.
“I’m feeling very relaxed. Mother gave me a sedative in a bitter tea. I couldn’t wait for you to finish tending to Kelyn’s wounds. I don’t blame you for going to him first.”
