AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Bright blue eyes.
15
Down Under and Out
“Are you okay, son? You look a bit off. Have you lost weight?”
I run my fingers through my hair, then flop back against the sofa cushions, my eyes at the ceiling, away from the laptop screen where I’m video calling my parents. They’ve been complaining about the weather and the increase in prices, moaning about my youngest sister changing jobs—again. Yes, life down under is the same as here.
And now they’ve picked up on me not being totally invested in their complaining session. There’s not much I manage to get excited about these days.
“Jamie, my little ghost, you’re making me nervous, tell me what’s wrong?”
I sigh. Even Mum’s nickname for me can’t bring a smile to my face. I want to say that everything is wrong. Alison officially has a boyfriend. I try to be enthusiastic when Adam talks about him—I don’t want him to think that he has to hide things from me. But it rips my heart out that another man sees my son more than me. I feel more alone than ever.
“I’m just a bit lost. I’ve always had a… girlfriend or a wife. This is the first time I’ve ever been on my own. Not having anyone to care about. And I’m so… confused…” I clamp my lips shut. No chance in hell am I telling them exactly what I’m confused about. There are certain things you don’t discuss with your parents. Not until you’ve figured it out yourself. I open my mouth to say some bullshit lie, but what comes out is, “It’s made me question my sexuality.”
Jesus.
It’s so quiet. I keep my gaze trained on the ceiling.
“It’s… okay, son.” My mother speaks carefully.
My dad clears his throat. “You know… If any of our kids were to come out, we always knew it would be you.”
My eyes snap back at the screen. “You what?” I ask, shock evident in my voice and I’m sure across my face as well. “You’ve talked about this?”
“We have friends whose kids have come out, so yes, we’ve discussed how we would react if one of you four did.” My mother shrugs, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. “You always had girlfriends so it’s not like we’ve been expecting this conversation. But… you were always flirting with your sisters’ boyfriends.” She turns to my dad and he shrugs too.
“I-I did not!”
“Your brother would always banter with them, but you flirted,” my mother insists, and the memory of one of my sisters’ boyfriends comes to mind. I loved his company. He was a bit older, confident, always smirking. Shit, his traits kind of remind me of Trevor.
“You couldn’t do anything to stop us loving you, son,” Dad says, and God, if I don’t tear up.
“Um, I… I don’t know what to say.”
“So tell me, what brought this on?” Mum leans closer to the screen, mischief in her eyes. “Is it that strapping farmer?”
“What? How do you…? What?” My mind is going in circles, it’s all too much to take in.
“You sent us pictures of Adam, and this farmer featured in a few of them. Handsome man.”
I laugh, exasperated.
“He is, isn’t he?” I finally admit, but defeat is lacing my words as I add, “I doubt he saw me as anything but a summer fling, though.” His comment about ‘getting some’ still stings.
“If that’s the case then it’s his loss,” Mum says sternly, her brows pulled together.
I huff. “Maybe, but it’s all so confusing and new and… I don’t know. I mean, I’ve lived a lifetime liking girls, and now… It’s like changing your football team, Dad.”
It’s my dad’s time to huff. “You never change your football colours, Jamie. But your sexual preferences can indeed change over the years.” He glances at Mum who elbows him while trying to keep a straight face.
“I do not want to know what you’re talking about!”
My father just grins while my mother says, “Perhaps you’re bisexual, Jamie.”
“Perhaps,” I answer, but truth is, I’ve never felt for a woman what I feel for Trevor.
