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‘Okay. Got it. It’s Friday night. I did just want to say I’m thrilled you’ve agreed to come back to Mylk It.’
‘No, Mark, I haven’t agreed.’
Yet. The thing is, I haven’t said no either. I’m still thinking about it.
‘Oh? My assistant seemed to think—’
‘I replied to her email with some further questions about the role, that’s all. I haven’t made my mind up.’
‘Okay. I can wait. Take all the time you need. And just quickly, before I let you go, have you had the chance to think about my other proposal?’
‘You mean seeing my daughter?’
‘Exactly,’ he says hopefully.
I’ve thought about this a lot over the past few weeks. And even though I’d love for him to disappear into thin air, I know that I have to make the right decision for Lila’s sake.
‘I’m happy – well, not happy – it’s fine for you to meet Lila,’ I reply, suddenly aware that Joe is coming back to the table. ‘But we do it on my terms, Mark. A neutral location, just for an hour or so, and we put her needs above anything else. If for any reason she seems upset or distressed then I will get her out of there, understood? My priority is that she feels safe. She’ll have a lot of questions so we need to be on the same page there, too.’
Mark sounds delighted. I can’t look at Joe as he takes his seat. Instead I study the plain white tablecloth with the phone as close to my ear as possible, hoping that Joe can’t hear how happy Mark sounds. ‘Of course. Thank you. You won’t regret your decision. It’ll be so good to see you again too, Sophie. I just know that this time round you and I are definitely going to make things work the way we want it to.’
Urgh. I hang up briskly, turning my phone to mute and putting it straight back into my bag.
‘Sorry about that,’ I say.
‘You’ve nothing to apologise for.’
‘I hate that he’s back,’ I admit. ‘But I can’t deny Lila the chance to get to know her real dad.’
‘It’ll be okay, Sophie. There’s a heap of baggage between you and Mark so your vision is going to be tainted by whatever happened in the past between you. Lila won’t have any of that, she’ll be meeting him fresh. Maybe he’ll be really good around her.’
It’s the most he’s said to me all evening, and so generously kind and reassuring that I find my eyes prickling with tears.
Joe unfolds an origami swan napkin and hands it to me.
‘I feel all at sea at the moment,’ I confess, desperate for us to get back to the days when things felt light and fun and hopeful.
‘I’m sorry you’re going through this,’ he says, and with that he seems to pull himself together. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’
‘Not really,’ I say.
‘Okay. Let’s not. Let’s enjoy our evening. Now, what course are we actually on? Because I’m not sure I can eat much more.’
This makes me smile. Just his renewed tone and energy lift the weight off my shoulders. ‘I’m so glad you said that, I’m stuffed already. But when I told Celeste we were eating here tonight, she got extremely excited and wanted to hear all about it. Looks like we’ll be in for a grilling on Monday.’
‘Monday?’
‘Joe Kitson, please don’t tell me you’ve forgotten about the next Barnaby’s Babes meeting?’
‘Ah shit, I had,’ he admits. ‘I’ve been invited to a … meeting early next week.’
‘Sounds mysterious.’
‘Not really. Just a work thing. I haven’t accepted yet but I think I will go.’
I get the impression that he doesn’t want me to ask any more questions, so I don’t. The thought of going to a wine and cheese night alone with the Mean Girls would have terrified me a few months back but now I feel more than happy to go solo. I always look forward to hanging out with Frankie, and even Celeste is more manageable now I’ve realised she’s got a mad crush on Joe.
‘No probs, I can make notes,’ I say.
