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"Dad, she loves you. She made her choice, and you've never let her down. You never will."
"Then why are you not allowing Liam to make his choice?"
Her head spun. She stared at her father, trying to process his words and realizing the truth of what he was saying. God, she'd never thought of it like that. Liam tried to tell her many times, but she was too stuck on not hurting him.
"That night you showed up at the house high and I kicked you out for good, I was destroyed. Not because of your sins, but because of mine. I felt responsible and guilty. I thought it was my genes that were damaged and I was terrified I'd made you into what I had been."
"No. Look at Gen and Alexa and Lance. They're fine. It was me. Something inside me was . . . different."
"I know. You're like me. I hated it. Maybe that's why I was always so much harder on you than Gen. I thought I could save you, but I couldn't."
"Dad, there was nothing you could have done. I made my own path, and there were plenty of times I could have made other choices. I had opportunities not to use. I chose my path, and it has nothing to do with you."
"Yes, I know. But a father only wants to protect his daughter at all costs."
"I'm afraid," she whispered. "Afraid I'm not good enough for him. Afraid I'll hurt him. Afraid I'll be weak one day and use again and destroy everything."
"I'm afraid, too. But trying to protect people by being afraid is wrong and against everything they're trying to teach us. We're addicts, Izzy. But we're people, too. We screw up and cause pain, but we also fight through the bad stuff. We love fiercely and try hard and do everything we can to be the best of what we are. God forgives you. We forgive you. You told me you forgive yourself, but if that were really true, you'd let Liam love you."
Yes. She hadn't allowed him to love her. She'd pushed him away, refused to talk about their relationship, and generally belittled his feelings. Still, he stuck by her, wanted her, loved her. Even to the last second when she walked away from him.
Dear God, what had she done?
"Personally, I think Liam is very lucky to have you. You're an extraordinary person. We don't realize that almost every person we meet has a story. Something in life tries to break them. Sometimes life succeeds, but if we fight back and eventually find redemption, do you really think we should be punished for the rest of our lives?"
No. She closed her eyes and reached deep inside, to that inner core of darkness that lay quietly in wait.
She found silence there. Kindness. And the knowledge she deserved to love and be loved.
"I know what I have to do now, Daddy," she said, opening her eyes. "Thank you for helping me."
She rose from the chair and hugged her father, and they held each other for a while.
"I expect him to be introduced at Sunday dinner next week," he muttered.
Izzy laughed and hugged him tighter.
chapter thirteen
DEVINE PULLED UP to his driveway and froze.
Her car was here.
Dizziness overcame him. He stared at the closed door and wondered why she was here. It had been two horrible, painful, grueling weeks since she'd walked away from him, and he was still barely surviving.
Even Stone was worried. He'd brought over a casserole Arilyn had made, as if someone had died and food would make things right.
Something had died--his heart.
And nothing would make it right again.
He couldn't do this again. He'd fought as hard as possible and still lost. Because the battle was within her, and until she figured it out, he was helpless. And if she was here just for sex, well, hell, he was throwing her out. He was better than just a guy with a dick, able to give her a good time. He fucking loved her and she'd fucking left him. Hell, she could be standing naked in there, and he'd just calmly tell her to please leave, because he wasn't going through this type of agony again.
Love truly sucked.
Temper fueling his body, he got out of the car and marched into the house. It was time to take back his damn key, too, so she couldn't do any of these magical appearances to tear him up. Men had rights, too. Where was it written that women were always the ones who got stepped on and abused in a romantic relationship? Or used for sex and lighthearted fun?
He was done. Finito. Over and out.
Devine swung open the door, slammed it behind him, walked a few steps in, and got ready to demand she get the hell out of his house.
And then he saw her.
She was in a skimpy gold lame bikini, exactly like in the scene with Princess Leia in Return of the Jedi.
Posed in front of the fireplace, Leia and Han tangled and playing at her feet, she stood before him in perfect, mouthwatering, Eve-like sensuality. His gaze roved over the thrust of her breasts and the tiny triangles that barely covered her nipples. Her tat sat perfectly on the top of her right breast. The slope of her stomach, the hourglass of her hips. A minuscule piece of fabric covered her pussy, just enough to make a man ache to slip his hand underneath to find the hot, wet honey beyond. Smooth, golden skin displayed her glory in the flickering light of the fire behind her. She stood with her legs braced apart, like a warrior princess ready to do battle.
Her hair was curled and let loose to run wild around her shoulders. Her lips were painted a deep scarlet, moist and ready for his kiss. She remained still with perfect grace, waiting for him to get over his complete shock that immobilized his feet but not his dick.
Oh no, not his dick. That appendage had grown to full staff and was trying to strangle itself in his uniform. She was his fantasy come to life a few feet away, ready for him to take her.
"Liam--"
"I forgive you."
He closed the distance between them, even as he was attacked by the joyous greetings of the twin terrors. They leaped on his feet, slowing down every step, but his gaze was focused on only her.
A husky, sexy laugh escaped
her lush lips. "No, Liam, I have to tell you some important things first."
"How about later?"
She threw her arms out and backed up, shaking her head so those silky waves lifted and brushed her naked shoulders. The straps barely held her straining breasts. He wondered if he made her leap back again if her breasts would escape their confinement.
"Liam, wait! Please let me talk first and then you can do anything you want to me."
"Anything?" he growled. "You have two minutes. And talk simply, because all the blood has left my brain and gone elsewhere."
"I love you. I love you with my heart and my soul and my body. You are everything I've ever wanted in my life, and I've been stupid--so stupid and afraid. All this time I've been trying to protect you I've really been trying to protect myself. By believing I'd never be good enough, I had a rational reason not to take a leap of faith with you."
"I agree." He took a step forward. "Go on."
"I don't want to live without you. And maybe I'll always be scared of what could be, or of using again, but I refuse to insult me or you by embracing weakness. Because I'm not weak, Liam. I'm strong. And maybe I screwed up before and didn't choose you, but dammit, I'll never make that mistake again. I'll choose you every time. If you'll have me. If I'm not too late. And I'll do whatever I need to prove I'm not going anywhere ever again. Okay?"
"Okay."
He reached her, snagged her around the waist, and pulled her in. His kiss was animalistic as raw hunger tore through his system at the first hot, sweet taste of her. As his tongue thrust deep between her lips, she gave it all back to him, shoving her fingers in his hair and pressing her body flat against his chest. His hands roved over her half-naked body, starved for the feel of her, as the puppies nipped at their heels and jumped frantically for attention.
"If I had known this thing worked so well, I would've invested in it a while ago," she gasped, arching up and offering her delicious mouth for surrender.
"Where'd you get it?"
"Costume store."
"I feel dizzy. Gonna pass out if I don't get you to the bedroom. Now." He lifted her up high, and she wrapped her legs around his hips as he stumbled to the bedroom, the puppies following and almost tripping him a few times. He gave up grace for speed and pressed her down on the bed, his fingers furiously working to pull off his uniform while he pressed kisses over her neck, her breasts, her stomach.
