Page 29 of Before I Lost You

“That’s young,” I point out.

“Yeah, well, she’s a single mom.” He looks away from me. “I had to take care of myself.”

“Looks like you did a damn good job at that.”

Kenneth’s eyes come back to mine with those words, gratitude shining in them. I can tell he was nervous to tell me that, though I’m not sure why.

“I wasn’t raised with money,” Kenneth says quietly. “My mom had to work two jobs to support us.”

“She clearly did the best she could,” I reply in a soothing tone.

“Your parents were probably loaded, huh?” he asks me, looking away again.

“No.” I shake my head. “My dad was a cop and my mom a first-grade teacher. That’s why I worked so hard at getting good grades. I needed the scholarships.”

“Really?” Kenneth’s eyes shine with something—curiosity, I realize. Like maybe it surprises him that I’m not a stuck-up brat. “So the success and the money came later?”

“Much, much later.” I sigh. “I worked my ass off for it.”

“Tell me about college,” he says, then looks at me expectantly as he eats.

I chuckle, setting my plate on my lap and turning toward him slightly. “Not much to tell. It was the usual college experience. Lots of parties and lots of late nights studying.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“Oh, I had the best time of my life,” I admit. “Finally being on my own was liberating. I could finally be myself, and I came out when I left my parents’ house.”

“Did they not accept you?” Kenneth frowns at this, and I shake my head.

“It wasn’t like that,” I reply, looking away. “But my small town wasn’t exactly welcoming when it came to gay men.”

“Makes sense,” he says thoughtfully. “Is that why you moved to the city?”

“Partly…” I look at him just to find him already watching me. “I like the city, though. I enjoy the fast-paced life. Living close to the water. Being able to walk to the places I enjoy going to.”

Kenneth smiles with what seems to be understanding. “It was always my dream to live here. I wanted to get away from the studio apartment where my mom and I lived. We had twin beds and shared a tiny closet. I bet she’s glad I’m gone.”

“Is she still living there?” I ask him.

“No, she’s living in a nice apartment now,” he replies. “She won’t let me pay for something more expensive, though.”

“She’s lucky to have you.”

“My mom worked hard to give me the best life she could.” Kenneth smiles, though he looks away. “Now it’s my turn to return the favor.”

A comfortable silence falls over us, and we finish eating. I stack our plates, and he puts them on the nightstand, then passes me my coffee. I sip it slowly, wondering how he figured out that I like my coffee exactly like this.

“How did you know how to make my coffee?” I ask him curiously.

“Hmm?” He frowns, confused. “Oh, I just made it how I like mine.”

“So we have matching coffee orders?” I smirk. “Cute.”

Kenneth chuckles, his eyes settling on my face. I get nervous as he searches my eyes, wondering what he sees when he looks. Can he tell how badly I want him? How hard I’m trying to hide it? My hands tremble slightly as he stares at me quietly, and I wonder if I ruined it all. If I fucked it all up. Goddamn it, what did he see?

“Tell me about your dad,” he says softly, and I flinch. “Or…don’t. But I’d like to know more about him.”

“Why?” I ask him softly, though I’m not sure why. It just feels too raw, too intimate to share with just anyone. But he’s not just anyone, is he?