Page 101 of Waiting for Love

She followed him to the chairs by the wall. Awful, narrow wooden ones. No one ever sat on them. He sat, wriggled his buttocks, and scowled. “The blazes. Why do we even have these things?”

She sat. He started over.

“Olivia, since we’ve come to London, you are like two different people. Sometimes you are Olivia. But more and more, you are some melancholy lady I don’t recognize. Explain to me. What is wrong? If there is anything I can do, I will.”

She drew a breath. He meant well. She couldn’t tell him the truth, but she could come close.

“I went to the theater with Isabel last night. Do you remember her?”

“Yes, of course. Lord Cameron’s chit. Married Sir Gavin.”

“A very good match?”

“Yes. Yes it was. She couldn’t really have hoped to look much higher.”

“But I can.”

“Of course you can! Ebersom is well on his way to being enamored. Marry him and you will outrank me!”

He smiled and gave her arm a nudge. He really was an idiot.

“I suppose it would be nice if you could no longer scold me.”

“I don’t scold,” he protested.

She continued, “Isabel is not unhappy, but she isn’t happy. Sir Gavin was not at the theater with us. We went with her brother and sister-in-law. Her husband had,” she paused, “another engagement.”

Jasper’s eyes shifted away. He swallowed. Then he said, “Oh.”

“She said she doesn’t care. She likes her position in London. She likes the estate in Wiltshire even though it is small. She says once she has children, things will be better.”

“Well, you see why I am concerned for Alice.”

“Alice is not Isabel,” Olivia said. “She knows what to expect. Besides, she and Hazard are better friends than…than most friends! He’ll be good to her.”

“As good as he can be.”

“Jasper, what I am saying is I don’t want to end up like Isabel. With a ‘very good match.’”

“You won’t!”

“Mama did.” Her voice dropped low. It still hurt. “Papa was unfaithful.”

Jasper’s face shuttered down. He rubbed his hands on his thighs. “Crispin was wrong to tell you.”

“No, he wasn’t. I hate it when you all know things and I don’t. But when Alice said she wasn’t going to waste her life waiting for a love match, I thought how wonderful for her to have a choice that gave her equal satisfaction.”

“Writing political speeches?” He scoffed. “Alice is odd.”

“Then I wish that I was odd, too.” Not writing speeches, of course, not being a political assistant, but something equally odd. Like…like being a steward’s helpmeet.

He was quiet. Thinking. Then: “Are you saying you don’t think you can be happy with Ebersom? He would be faithful, I’m certain.”

She shook her head. “I don’t know, Jasper. I’ve never once heard the man laugh.” Then she poked his arm and attempted to smile because he was trying so hard. “Although it would be fun to outrank you.”

“He does laugh,” he said, though he said it doubtfully. He gave her a long look. “Now tell me. Be honest. Is there a particular someone you think you could be happy with?”

She made a heroic effort not to squirm. “No, Jasper, there is not. And if there was, I would not want you twisting his arm.”