Page 32 of End Of Never

Now I sit up in bed, listening to the dial tone, overtaken by that power once again. It’s like my soul knows exactly who it belongs to, and it’s always been him.

The morning comes, and sleep doesn’t. I was up all night replaying his words, rewatching our last night together in my mind. Even on my drive into work, the memories crashed into me like waves crashing into the bluffs. Hard and beautiful.

To be seen by him at seventeen made every fiber of my being vibrate; he could be across the room, and I could feel him. Now, all these years later, the feeling is there, pulling me in.

I have a choice to make, because so far, what I’ve learned about Jace is that he doesn’t back down.

If I sit with my thoughts long enough, I realize I don’t want him to.

I don’t need anyone, and I have grown enough to understand that. I will figure it out, but since he’s been back, I find myself wanting more, wanting him.

The thought alone scares me. Opening myself up to be vulnerable again, to give him power to break my heart by leaving once again, is daunting. The fear reminds me just how much I’ve suffered. I know there are worse conditions. I know mine isn’t the worst case in the world. Still, it’s like digging a knife into an old wound.

The choice is mine; I just need to figure out whether opening my heart will be worth the break.

Chapter 28

Jace

Pulling into the parking lot at Lilla’s clinic, there is only one other car, carrying an older gentleman and his wife, who get out at the same time I do. As I open the door for myself, the couple pushes right in, assuming I was holding the door for them. Usually, I’m a gentleman, and I will gladly hold the door open, but panic sets in. This is my appointment. I need to see her. It is a matter of did you hear my confession or fall asleep—big things.

Following closely to the elder couple, I quickly speak up first, “Good afternoon, Vicky! I’m here for my appointment in two minutes.”

Vicky chuckles, nodding at me to take a seat. “She’ll be right out, honey.”

Taking a seat on the bench with Zeus in my lap, panting happily because he gets to see his Mommy. I’m happy too, only it would be odd if I stuck my tongue out and started panting in public. I’ll save all that for when she finally lets me taste her. My mind leaps for a visual, just as I start scolding myself to simmer down before my dick shows my thoughts, as the lady who barged in all willy-nilly like, rudely begins asking for the vet.

“Excuse me, I have been standing here, do your glasses not work? I am waiting to speak with the vet. Fetch her now.” She waves Vicky on to do as she says. Wow, Bitch.

I stand, holding my little dog in my arms like the pompous priss, this old lady appears to be. Walking over, Vicky looks at me through her glasses, giving me a shit-eating grin.

“I saw you, ma’am. As a matter of fact, I heard you sighing and huffing and puffing. Please tell me how I can help you, because clearly you are in some distress.” Holding back a laugh, or trying too, but it slips out. The older couple and Vicky both look at me. Before Queen Bitch can give Sweet Vicky a yellin’, Lilla walks out.

She is effortlessly beautiful just as she’s always been. Her hair is up today in a messy bun; her white coat is off, revealing how the scrubs sculpt to her tight body. She’s looking down at the clipboard, “I’m ready for Zeus.” She hands Vicky her clipboard, and when she looks up, I watch every muscle in her body tense.

Her eyes grow wide as she turns as pale as a ghost. “Hello, child.” The woman says harshly, looking Lilla up and down, taking her in. “We have been calling you for days. Do you know the lengths we went just to get your number? Extremely inconvenient.”

Lilla looks at them, then at me. Her eyes lock with mine, and I feel it. The same thing I felt every time she needed saving. It’s like my heart speaks with hers, and somehow I just know. I push past the couple standing between my lady and me.

I move to stand beside Lilla, placing my hand on her back to reassure her that I have her. I will gladly drop a dude to the floor and make his wife cry, all for her. “Why are you here?” Her voice is tense, almost like she’s scared.

“Well, if you would answer your phone, you would know. But clearly, you are throwing a tantrum and are upset with your—us…we decided the best way to see you was at work. In this awful place you call a business.” The wretched woman looks around the room with disgust as her lips move up, scrunching her nose as her eyes wander. Who the fuck is this raging bitch?

Lilla’s posture stiffens, making Zeus bark and growl at Old Mrs. Evil. She takes a step towards the gray-headed dinosaur bitch. With her leather skin and sunken eyes, she looks like she just crawled from the dead, and she is worried about Lilla’s business; she should be concerned about whether she’ll have her next breath. And so help my prison time if she makes my woman cry, I’ll slap the bitch. “Well, Mother.” Shock courses through me, ‘mother?’ This old hag—these are the people who made my firecracker think she was unlovable. The rage to beat them until they tell her how amazing she is sets in, and my fists ball. “I didn't answer because I simply do not want to speak with you or Dad. I have nothing to say, nor did I invite you to this Vet Clinic that I opened, all on my own. Yet, here you are. Now, I know you don’t have an animal that needs medical attention, because that requires love and care, something neither of you is capable of giving. So, tell me what the fuck do you both want, or get the hell out.” I know my face shows exactly how I’m feeling, proud, there she is.

My smile is so big, I can feel it in my ears. Lilla smirks, giving me a small smile before stepping back into my arms. She stepped back into me, all on her own. I rub my hand along her back, giving her all my support.

Her dad clears his throat, straightening his tie, “Well, Lilla, there is no need for hostility; we’re just here to tell you there is an investor ball tonight, where your presence is required. Tonight, I will be named CEO, and the board members would like my entire family to be there. Seeing how they know of your existence, you too must come.” Well, that was one fucked up way of inviting someone. Lilla shifts in my arm, clearly uncomfortable.

Before Lilla can respond, her bitch of a mother chimes in, “Oh, and please, for the sake of appearances, bring a date. The last thing we need is for them to see you without one and think you are defective. We know you are dear, but it’s them we wish not to find out.” I have had enough with her mouth. I take a step forward, catching Lilla off guard when she puts her hand up, stopping me from spending life in prison.

“Fine. I’ll do this on one condition. After the ball, you leave. Forever. You tell your board members I died, if you have to, because I will never again show up for you. You are not allowed in my clinic, at my home, or in my god damn town. So yes, I will come and be the perfect poster child, and after I’m done, I will be as dead to you as you both are to me. Do you understand?”

Shaking their heads in agreement, they start walking away, “I will text you the location and time, and dress accordingly, it’s black tie.” We stand there watching them leave.

My hand is wrapped around Lilla most intimately, and honestly, I didn’t realize my grip was so tight, but Vicky did. When my gaze meets hers, she smiles, giving me a quick wink. Lilla begins tugging on my shirt and moves us to the far back room. The door is closed, with a sign on the front that reads, ‘Office- Dr. Lilla Lane. ’ How fancy, my future wife is a doctor.

She lets me in, slamming the door behind her, “Oopsie.” She brushes past with a sly smile before taking a seat in her big office chair.