Page 37 of For I Have Sinned

I open my mouth to answer, but snap it shut as the back of her hand meets my forehead.

Is she checking to see if I have a fever?

My eyes glide to Esther, who is holding in a laugh behind her hand, before returning my gaze to Joanna.

“You don’t have a temperature.” She lowers her hand.

“I feel fine,” I reassure her. “I’m just still getting adjusted to everything.”

“Give it one more week, and you’ll be a hundred percent adjusted,” Bekah chimes in. “I’m excited for you to sit in on your first Prayer tomorrow. Father Alexander is speaking more than usual. Father Keaton likes to lead most of the time, but he is slowly allowing Father Alexander to step in.”

I nod slowly, peering over to the table where Father Alexander is sitting with Father Keaton. They are in a deep conversation, but that doesn’t stop him from looking over at me. I divert my eyes immediately and bring my attention back to the girls.

“Can’t wait,” I say with enough enthusiasm for them to believe me.

“We like to sit in the first pews,” Joanna announces. “We feel that the message comes across better when we are in the front row.”

“Totally.” I glance again at Esther, who is quietly mocking Joanna, making me suppress a smile.

The blonde next to me doesn’t pay her any mind as she says, “We will save you a seat.”

I thank her and finally take a bite of my food, already dreading tomorrow.

Apparently, there is a special dress that we wear to Prayer. Can you guess the color? If you said white, you’d be correct.

Instead of cotton, this dress is made of fine silk. The fit still makes me look frumpy, but it’s nice to be wearing a different material. The cool fabric feels fresh against my skin.

For a moment, I close my eyes as I run my hands down the front of the dress, pretending like I’m somewhere else. A fancy work event. No, not something for work because I don’t even want to think about the job I no longer have.

Pushing the thought from my mind, I imagine I’m wearing an elegant ball gown. I wore a similar material to a New Year’s party last year. It was at a hotel, and when I got the invite, I couldn’t say no. I immediately told Vince and Amelia about it, and we went as a trio, having the night of our lives. The memory brings a sad smile to my lips because I miss them.

Before I can wallow in the sadness of missing my friends, there is a knock at my door. Opening my eyes, I blink back the tears and turn the handle. To my surprise, Esther is standing there, and I can’t help but laugh at the discomfort on her face.

“Don’t even say anything,” she warns me.

“But why not? That dress was made for you!” I tease.

“I feel like I’m about to be baptized.” She groans, but then her eyes light up. “Do you think they do that here? Like when they shove people in the water to wash away their sins?”

“Well, I don’t think they shove people into the water, Esther.” I step out of the room, shutting the door behind me. “But they might have a place where they do baptize people. I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“If I find it, maybe I’ll see if someone can just drown me in it to put me out of my misery,” Esther jokes as we walk down the hall toward the stairs.

“I’ve never met someone so dramatic.” I laugh. “Actually, that’s a lie. My best friend Vince is the most dramatic person I’ve ever met.”

“Is he cute?”

“He’s gay.”

“Damn.” She sighs. “You miss him?”

“Of course I do. He and my best friend Amelia.” My throat gets tight with emotion. “We are inseparable, so my being away from them is hard.”

“I used to have a friend like that.” Esther smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.

“What happened?”

“She died,” she responds with a shaky voice, but coughs and regains her composure. “Emma got sick. I was there with her through every step until the end. I was a wreck after because I had known her my entire life. My dad was sick of me moping around after I lost my mom and then my best friend. He said that Emma getting sick and dying was meant to be. That it was God’s plan.”