Page 75 of Never Till Now

I let go leisurely. Taking my time to relish in his touch and each thrust. Feeling my high build until I can no longer hold off and dig my nails into his back, filling the room with a pleasured cry. He finishes deep inside me with a throaty grunt. Adam pulls out and warm liquid seeps down my ass onto the sheets.

With a kiss on my forehead, he walks over to the bathroom and returns with a warm towel to clean me up. I cock a brow and reach to take the cloth. This is one task I’ve never had anyone do.

“Just let me take care of you for once.” Adam holds the cloth back out of my reach. “I made this mess.”

I lie back and let him clean me. I can’t push away the uneasy feeling of giving up control for a simple task I can easily complete myself. Aside from the time I was given that supply bag, no one has ever shown interest they wanted to take care of me. I feel a strong connection as I look down at the man tending to me. This is probably the damn oxytocin from bareback sex. Do I want him? Yes, who wouldn’t want to spend their days like this with a man so giving? Can I let the fear that this could be ripped away and I’ll be left tending to myself, for everything, again? That, I can’t face.

“I don’t think I can do this.” The words rush out of my mouth, but I immediately wish they didn’t.

“Hey.” Adam leans in closer. “I know this is a lot to take in. All I’m asking is if you’ll let me need you until you are ready to give your heart to me.”

“And if I can’t?”

“Then…” His eyes roam my body before meeting with mine again. “Then, this will be one hell of a deathbed memory to look back on. I hope you try to give us a chance to see where this goes.”

I nod. “I want to try.”

“I’m scared too, you know. You may shatter me, but it’s worth the moment we just shared.”

“I should sleep. I have my last twelve-hour shift tomorrow.” I clear my throat as he stands, gathering his clothes.

“Sweet dreams, Lauren.” Adam kisses my forehead and heads home.

My feet ache from constant running and the grumble in my stomach is getting embarrassing. Another crazy day has flown by and I still haven’t gotten around to lunch by late afternoon. I grab the chart outside the door to a patient’s room. The lump in my throat drops to my gut, but I push a smile forward. I know this system too well. A lot of children get let down, and others eventually rise up for a fighting chance. I waver back and forth as to what scenario mine was.

I wrote a previous report and the social worker had been notified about the recurring visits. The pendulum in my mind sways since the adult is stepping up to bring this child here, but why does the child keep needing this place? The nursing student who gathered the information earlier warned me she felt something was off.

If this is a sick game, I need a clever angle to reach the untold truths.

“Ava Rose, this is not an ice cream store, but I feel like I owe you an ice cream after our last interaction.” She gives me the same weak smile I wore for too many years.

“It hurts to use the bathroom again.”

Her guardian rolls her eyes. “I told her to wipe front to back so this wouldn’t happen again. A nine-year-old should know this by now, right?”

“Some people can be more prone to bladder infections than others. Allergies or dehydration can play a part as well.” The guardian crosses her arms with a huff. “We can run multiple tests to get to the bottom of this.” I look over Ava’s file and know this can’t be a lingering infection from the last time. “You guys might be here for a while.”

“Is there any way I can get a coffee? I came home from work a few hours ago and my son said she had been complaining since she arrived home from school.” She stands, adjusting the designer purse over her arm.

“If you go to the nurses’ station, they’ll be happy to get you one.” I smile, feeling bile rise to my throat.

“Maybe talk to that one about basic hygiene.” The woman nods in Ava’s direction and takes off.

Ava’s eyes dart around the room as she twists her fingers. My heart picks up speed as I steady my breath. I push the door closed and take a seat next to her.

“Ava.” I keep my voice soft. “I was in foster care too, growing up. We don’t have much time, but I think you know proper hygiene.”

Her face pales as she slowly nods, bringing her eyes up to mine. “Are you alone with that lady’s son after school?” She stiffens and sucks in a breath, still unable to speak. “Does he put his hands on places you don’t want him to?” Terror reaches her eyes telling me everything I need to know. “I promise I can help you, but you have to talk to me and a few others. I can help you get out of this, Ava Rose.”

“I can’t go back home with her.” Her voice breaks and her body shakes.

“When was the last time he touched you?”

“After school.” Ava’s lips purse together as her little face holds back tears.

“You’ll be okay.” I give her a quick hug and stand to gain composure. “I’m going to tell your guardian we need to rule everything out. When you’re asked questions by us, I need you to be honest. Can you do that?”

She nods, rolling her lips, and I watch a layer of armor build around her. Armor that no child should ever feel the need to build.