Page 44 of A Beast Captured My Heart

“You think that shit was cute? You call yourself being a man by trying to take my fucking independence away from me? You got me so fucked up, I swear I’m done with your lame ass tactics!”

That wiped the smile right off his face. He stood to his feet, and I had to take my eyes off his dick print that he cockily adjusted before speaking to me.

“The fuck you just say, Kayori?”

He clicked his tongue as his jaw clenched tight, those wild eyes and his crazy demeanor didn’t move me nor intimidate me. He had the right one today, I was ready to go toe to toe with his ass for the shit he pulled.

“You heard what the fuck I said! I’m sick of your ass and all your lame ass tactics, nigga!” I twisted my neck almost catching a cramp, I could see the steam rising from him.

“You think you just gone trap me and handicap me? Have me stuck depending on you and needing you? That’s where your wrong!”

“I did what a real nigga should have done. You not going nowhere, Kayori. Go pick out a guestroom in this big ass house and get over the shit.”

He calmly walked away and all I could do was laugh. It was his nonchalant attitude that tipped me over the edge. It made me want to explode and fuck him up. I quietly made my way to his room as the tears of anger couldn’t be stopped from falling. I snatched my suitcase out of his walk-in closet not giving a damn about his expensive clothes falling down. Snatching up everything that I saw was mine, I placed my suitcase on his bed and start throwing my clothes inside.

“You doing all this shit for what? Where the fuck you gon’ go? Back to rooming? Imposing on your best friend and Stone? I did you a fucking favor, you should be thanking a nigga.”

When I turned around and looked at him, I lost it. He had a cocky ass smile plastered on his face, leaning at the doorway stroking his beard, he constantly stroked his own ego. He didn’t even have the audacity to apologize for his controlling behavior.

“All you bitches do is get emotional, can never see when a nigga really gives a fuck-”

I mustered up all the strength I had and threw my suitcase full of clothes at his ass. I charged him blacking out, losing control of my temper. I kept so much shit bottled in, pushed so much shit to the side to try to be there for him. I stopped caring for myself and my own sanity. Every punch I delivered landed right on his face. I busted his lip and when he touched it and saw blood on his fingertips, he pounced hard on me.

“You stupid ass bitch!” he roared as he pushed me hard off him. I scrambled to gain my balance because now I was scared as hell. He yanked me by my ponytail and pulled me onto the floor with him as he used one hand to wrap around my throat. He gave it a light squeeze. His eyes held an empty lost look as he hit his forehead hard with his free hand.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, NIGGA! I WOULD NEVER HURT HER!”

He looked off as he still had a tight hold over my neck. He took deep breaths and his eyes focused in on me. Releasing my neck, he remained on top of me. I always seemed to catch Beast talking to Praise, I had never witnessed Praise talking to Beast. That’s when it clicked in my head, Beast was the main nigga in charge. He rode the back seat to Praise because Praise was good at keeping his composure. This is who the real Praise was, a Beast who desperately needed taming.

“FUCK!”

He balled his fist and kept punching his hands down hard on his marble floor, right next to the sides of my head until his fists grew bloody. I cried hard and prayed that none of those hits he delivered to his floor would connect with my face. My face was scarred up enough and I didn’t want him adding to it. I could hear the marble floor crack as he roared out in anger, then lifted up off of me.

“Get the fuck out, Kayori, before I hurt you bad,” he spoke calmly, too calm. The toxic-ness inside of me wanted him to beg me to stay. I could see it in his eyes he was giving up on me. I was just angry and might have taken things too far. I just wanted him to see how wrong his actions were. I wanted him to apologize and try to compromise with me, like I did with him all the time. I was always understanding.

“Beast, I-”

He turned to look at me and it broke my heart to see the battle in his eyes. His eyes were watering, and he looked angry as hell, like he wanted to break right in front of me but refused to. I was willing to sit down with him and put himself back together if he asked me to. That’s just how hard he had me falling for him. He walked up to his dresser and grabbed his medicine bottle. His hands shook rapidly, and I realized I triggered him bad. He was trying to remain nonchalant, but I pushed him to this. His fist was swollen as blood oozed out nonstop. I didn’t get to see Praise as much because he was trying his hardest to accept who he truly was, he was trying to merge himself as one. I also realized he had been doing it cold turkey with the help of myself and Mattea being here.

“Let me help you, Beast.”

“I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT, YOU STUPID ASS BITCH, BEFORE I FUCKING KILL YOU!”

He sat two pills on the nightstand and disappeared out the room. My breathing picked up and my heartbeat was off. I tried to hold back from breaking down, but as I picked up each piece of clothing from the floor I panicked. It felt like I was going to end up picking up pieces of my heart too. I kept thinking of never being able to see his handsome face again. I knew right now I couldn’t press my luck with him. Beast hated taking his meds, and I had forced his hand at doing so which was actually good for him. Maybe he was trying to force Praise back into the forefront but couldn’t do so just yet without his medicine. Once I got everything packed up and ready to go, he entered the room with his fist bandaged up. I picked up my keys, took his key off my key ring and placed it on the dresser. I took one last look at him and did as he said. I left with my heart hurting; I didn’t think the shit through. No matter how normal Beast appeared to be on the outside, I knew he battled with so much on the inside.

I told myself to not over think the shit, we both were moving too fast. It wasn’t my fault, and I knew I wasn’t perfect either. I had flaws and short comings just like everybody else. Beast needed to learn accountability for when he was actually wrong instead of thinking every choice, he made was right. I planned on going back to Cali in the morning and taking some much-needed time away from everyone.

The next morning, I woke up with heavy swollen eyes from crying myself to sleep. I was an emotional wreck and felt like I was turning back into my old self. I was slowly shutting down and losing the spark that I was finally regaining. It’s crazy how a man can be the cause of us women finding and somehow losing ourselves when they didn’t act right because we gave them the power to do so. Most of the time we block our own feelings and how we feel just to tend to a man’s every damn need. That’s how Beast had me feeling, even though I knew for a fact, he was wrong. It didn’t take from the fact how terribly I missed him in just this short period of time. I didn’t like going to bed upset or mad at anybody I cared about. Unforeseen occurrences happened in life all the time. If anybody knew that shit was me. I had lost my mom and brother and never got to express how deeply I loved and cared for them both.

A tap at my door could be heard. I didn’t feel like running to the bathroom and clearing my face and getting rid of the evidence that I had been up all night crying. I knew it was Meshalay. Although her plate was full, being full-term pregnant and nursing her man back to himself from recovering, she made time for me no matter what. She called me daily, making sure I was okay. I made a mental note to treat her out to something nice when we both had the time.

“Come in!” I sluggishly yelled. She wasted no time opening up the door with her arms folded over her chest.

“Save it, Lay.”

I laid back down, still looking at her. Meshalay looked even prettier pregnant. She had a crazy glow to her skin tone, and she picked up some weight to her once slim frame.

“Unt unnnn, what we not gone do is turn back into the old Kayori!”